that shining beacon of wisdom called America.

How many more children have to die,before Kinder Egg's are banned?

Don't ever have children.

just had a quick google and i wish this thread really was about an american problem, e.g. a derringer with a chocolate stuffed barrel - but it isn't. wikipedia says that any non-functional/non-edible content cannot be within confectionery in the states, sharing the packaging would be okay - which is sensible given that american children are likely to try and swallow something like a kinder egg whole. most of the serious calls for a ban have come from the uk, where the majority of kinder-related deaths have occurred.

we're pretty damn cool as countries go, but i wish we weren't so fucking stupid. went to turkey last month and stopped for a weekend on some greek island on the way back, which put us on a plane full of british holiday makers for the home leg.

this hideous snotball on the row across from us wouldn't stop crying, no matter how much his flappy-breasted orc of a mother shouted at him. the cabin crew were all busy helping other molepeople perform complex tasks like unfastening their safety belts or operating their 3-button TVs - so I carefully and politely asked the young lady if I could help. It occurred to me that his ears might be hurting with the air pressure, so I gave him a couple of jelly beans to chew on. The effect was instant with the first movement of his jaw and he shot me a suddenly wide-eyed look that said "these sweaty, week old, pain-relieving jelly beans are the best fucking thing i have ever tasted, ever".

Gave his mum the rest of the bag, who said that she'd given him a little can of coke (poor fucker only looked about 3) and a colouring book already, so I had to try and explain the pressure thing and that all he needed to do was click his jaw. Kept it brief, but I thought I made it pretty straightforward. I got her to click her own jaw (which 'ooh, makes everything louder') and even used a packet of peanuts that had inflated as an example of the principle, but I could see in her eyes that grasping the concept was like trying to catch a wet cake. it seemed to be only now that she was really seriously thinking about the fact that flying meant you weren't on the ground.

the kid was quiet so i gave up and went back to my seat, crying inside a little because i don't have an unreasonable arrogance fuelled near-field weapon that instantly and silently vaporises people who fall below an acceptable comprehension threshold.

Don't ever have children.