Riddla

I miss LARS and his regular News of the Weird entries

CROSS OF IRON

RRRROOOOAAAARRRR (give or take a few r's o's and a's)

I bet he still sleeps in his hand made chainmail.

Nerds...

duhard

I haven't been too active on this board for a few years, even then I mostly lurked around GD and T&T with the occasional peek in the void. It's very interesting to see this site still active 15 years later. When I joined I was still in high school and now turning 30 it's funny ( pathetic ) to think I've checked into this board at least once every couple days to see what you fuckers are up to.

Some memorable moments/members for me

2) casedogg screaming while playing doom 3 for the first time, and also coming out as a gay rapper ( true? )

etc.

Post some of the bullshit you remember over the years.

ARSE HAIR

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ss-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling.

Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with somepaper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I
thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there
and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally
reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks.

As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks.

Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't
enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad.

Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ARSE-HAIR!

the story above is total bullshit...nothing weird happens when u shave ur ass...unless ur a moron...

can't find the rap atm, might be on a DVD somewhere

Yeah I'm a stupid little white boy, skinny as fuck.
That's why my homey tnf had to hook me up,
with a workout plan, yeah that's my man,
and my homey Bad Mutha owns like no one can.
And then you got the homey Feedback fo sho,
always cliqued up with Memphis and Don Carlos.
And there's a crazy motherfucker called MorbidSmell,
evading the cops always raising some hell.
Then you got the smart ones, Eraser and Foo,
if I only had a brain I could be them too.
And Doombrain will tell you in a second what's up,
you start spamming and you get a "fuck off you cunt".
And speaking of spam, let me give you a tip,
don't be posting that shit in R&R you bitch.
Because prince1000 will close your thread,
oh shit here comes raw, it's off with your head.

It's Q3W so baby what's up.
All you llamas and noobies need to shut the fuck up.
If you ain't been around long enough to know the game,
stay the fuck out the forums, you bitch-ass lame.

Now when I speak of regulation, it's hard
all you maggots and spammers know that fo sho.
And if saturn calls you cunt in General Discussion,
you can always go to R&R and cry or something.
And then there's GONNAKILLYA flamewars indeed.
Gramps takes it in the ass once again, you see.
And booker sits there ignoring BM,
but then opens up a thread dedicated to him.
And then there's Mercy Killer, well, 'nuff said,
let's move on to something worth our time instead.
Then you got sixpack, maple leaf hockey mask,
oh wait, that's not his icon yet. Shit, my bad.
Next comes horton, who's cool as hell,
and Mr Sandman too, the truth I gots to tell.
7zark7 is always down,
as some of these damn names I can't pronounce.
Like Diego ConCarne, I hope that's right,
but your Misfits icon is hella tight.
And there's someone that I know insane in the membrane,
that's the little homey Mouse, got major game.
And then there's bitWise, who got almost fucked,
by some bitch on MSN till she fucked that up.
And that's a little length on the homeys I know,
and if I left your ass out there's still a verse to go.

It's Q3W so baby what's up.
All you llamas and noobies need to shut the fuck up.
If you ain't been around long enough to know the game,
stay the fuck out the forums, you bitch-ass lame.

Now I'm trying really hard to fit you all in,
but in this last verse I don't know how to begin.
So let's start by thanking ax for using his server,
sometimes I sit and cry, because I'm this pervert.
Vamps, Transient and Grandpa Stu,
I'm sending shout outs to all of you.
ToxicBug and Reggie D, the whole entire quake 3 family.
Mr. Sparkle and Juggernaut,
hope I said that right, sorry if I did not.
Tormentius and So2, sorry if I said your name wrong too.
Then you got brisk and MaCaBr3,
and there's always RRROOOAAARRR, haha ha.
Can't leave out Mr Horka Thane
(I will take over your planet and conquer with the Legions of Thane)
insane.

It's Q3W so baby what's up.
All you llamas and noobies need to shut the fuck up.
If you ain't been around long enough to know the game,
stay the fuck out the forums, you bitch-ass lame.

Shouts go out to Dave, elk, Fury, MKJ, glossy, Rotting Zombie, Hillary Rosen.
Anyone else I forgot, I'm sorry, I did this shit in a hurry.
And if I said your name wrong, I apologise for that also.
I can't fucking read, as you know I can't spell.
So that is the latest, this is Casedogg, baby, and I'm out.
Q3W, late.

can't forget PieceMaker, rhink(T&T guy) Geebs, elk

i'm sure some of you remember this

You know who I miss? zark. No wait, actually, I miss the pictures of his stormtrooper helmet wearing wife.