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Topic Starter Topic: Memoirs of a Strogg war veteran
Eraser
Cool #9
Cool #9
Joined: 01 Dec 2000
Posts: 44138
PostPosted: 07-09-2006 07:42 AM           Profile   Send private message  E-mail  Edit post Reply with quote


Hello, my name is Matthew Kane. I have fought in the great war against the Strogg. What I have seen and experienced there is something most people wouldn't even dream of in their worst nightmares.

I was part of Rhino Squad, an elite squad of marines, assigned to the task of defeating the Strogg once and for all. In reality, that ment that it was all up to me to save the human race. Not a task to be taken lightly, especially not when you're on the edge of madness because your brand new Strogg implants won't stop itching.

Yeah, it's true, I was "Stroggified". The Stroggification itself isn't all that bad. Having your limbs torn off isn't so bad when you can't actually feel it happening, it's more the thought of it that counts. I must admit that seeing your own legs being carried off by a robotic arm is somewhat worrying. No, the real pain came after that, when my best Rhino Squad buddies started calling me names. Plain racism it was. Racism based on skin color turns really ugly when yours is a somewhat putrid grey with hints of festering black and yellow.

I never really understood the Strogg. I never really understood my marine squad either for that matter. I mean, what's up with those lousy drop pods? I've done countless of pod drops in my life, but not one time did the bloody thing land properly. Apparantly crashing straight through the building is a far more effective way of reaching the core. You don't know the meaning of the word headache if you've never done a pod drop.

Speaking of cores. What's up with cores anyway? Why is there always somekind of bloody core that needs blowing up? My theory is that the best way to win a war is to never build a core. If there isn't a core that can be blown up, you're already halfway to victory.
Now the Strogg, they really went way overboard on the "core" thing. They actually built themselves a Data Processing Core. Stupid, I know, but they did. Good for us.

I never knew this, but apparantly, when it comes to the Strogg, "data processing" and "communication" consists of shooting colored beams from one point to another. Even so-called "information routers" are nothing more than devices that, really cleverly, bend a beam around a corner. Supposedly a mirror can mess things up real good for the Strogg. I wish I had thought of that back there then. Oh yeah, did you know that "Data Pumps" are actual mechanical devices going up and down, you know, pumping data? Very clever. It adds this dramatic flair to the whole thing.

That's one thing I always liked about the Strogg though. Their good sense of the dramatic. Buildings 3000 stories high (the elevator ride took about 45 minutes. We were lucky though, as the usual ways of elevators are to stop at every other floor), colored beams everywhere, attaching people to walls without properly killing them first and my personal favorite, their bridges. If we built bridges like that back on earth, suicidal people wouldn't even need to jump off them anymore. They could just stand and wait until it was, well, folded in. Cortez actually told me someone cut off his own head while opening up a bridge. Unlucky.

One very clever tactic of the Strogg was to scatter all consoles required to operate stuff all over the place. Operating machinery from a remote location wasn't possible. I guess rerouting all the colored beams was too much of a hassle. Ofcourse this ment we were running from console to console to operate stuff. At least operating stuff ment pressing one button to get things working, but that also ment the Strogg could press the button again to make things stop working. It would've been quite funny to see that, but our superiors wouldn't have none of that. They put guards up at the consoles. In the long run this ment that half of our men were guarding one-button consoles. My suggestion to simply shoot the damn things was denied. It wasn't narratively right, whatever that ment.

One thing it did mean was that I would continue all by myself after reaching a console with another marine. There I was, the only Stroggified marine that wasn't hanging down from a wall gurgling in his own spit (that is, if the head was still attached) or aiming guns at other marines (well, I actually did just for the hilarity of seeing my buddies shit themselves in the pants). All alone by myself facing impossible odds. They had immense trust in my capabilities, even though I was this close to being a Strogg only hours ago.

I never had to expect any help from the other marines. Yeah some did manage to make it look like they helped me but it rarely was worth anything. All of them either died or had to stay behind at a console. Bravo Squad's way of helping was actually getting shot out of the sky by a Strogg Viper. Wolf Squad's way of helping was getting turned into mashed potatoes by a giant Strogg in the hangar and Charlie Squad never left the mothership as their pods were all launched before they were actually able to get inside their pods. After that they were sent down in a transport ship but their task, to destroy the core of the Bridge Manufacturing Plant, proved harder than they had expected. Apparantly the way to that core crossed the bridge of all bridges. A bridge so complex and dramatic that, once it opened, it got tangled up in itself and never got further than producing a menacing sound followed by steel and rubble plunging into the depths. Charlie Squad then decided it wasn't worth the effort and returned home, left to tell their family stories of why bridges really shouldn't fold out, spin around three times, fold out a bit more, have spikey things come out of them, rotate 180 degrees, fold out yet a bit more and have metal beams come out that really didn't fold as well as the rest as the bridge.

Last but not least there was Strauss. I hated the guy. He was the chief engineer of Rhino Squad. "Hacker Extraordinaire" as he called himself. Hacking into the Strogg system was indeed no problem for him and pointing out which doors were open wasn't a problem for him either. But then again, the big green and red lights hinted on that as well. When we would get to a closed door that had to be opened (and didn't, by common but weird convergences of events, get ripped open by monstrous Stroggs or large explosions), Strauss would be as useless as a dull knife. No, his way of helping was by modifying my perfectly acceptable hyperblaster into a thing of horror that shot bolts that bounced off walls. I can still feel the burns of the plasma bolts that bounced back straight into my face.

Oh well, in the end the war wasn't so bad, for me anyway. Being half Strogg has it's advantages. I don't waste any more time in the bathroom or sleeping and the itches are gone after using this allergenic cream I got from the doctor. Next week I'm going to Mars, to this teleportation research facility. I've got a job there as security guard. Should be a relaxing and quiet way to spend the day. I'm already looking forward to it...




Last edited by Eraser on 07-09-2006 11:43 AM, edited 2 times in total.
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Foo
Timed Out
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Joined: 02 Aug 2000
Posts: 38064
PostPosted: 07-09-2006 08:15 AM           Profile   Send private message  E-mail  Edit post Reply with quote


FANFIC?



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Eraser
Cool #9
Cool #9
Joined: 01 Dec 2000
Posts: 44138
PostPosted: 07-09-2006 11:08 AM           Profile   Send private message  E-mail  Edit post Reply with quote


If you want to call it that. It's just a little nonsense thing I just wrote after playing Quake 4. I was bored. I was hoping it would amuse someone :shrug:
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Lenard
NOT OK
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Joined: 03 Aug 2003
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PostPosted: 07-09-2006 11:13 AM           Profile Send private message  E-mail  Edit post Reply with quote


Pretty funny by my standards. A-



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Guest
PostPosted: 07-10-2006 09:46 AM           Profile Send private message  E-mail  Edit post Reply with quote


I liked it. I haven't played the game.
I've played Quake2.
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JooKed
Mercenary
Mercenary
Joined: 18 Apr 2005
Posts: 220
PostPosted: 07-11-2006 10:12 AM           Profile Send private message  E-mail  Edit post Reply with quote


Lenard wrote:
Pretty funny by my standards. A-
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I cant spell u
Primal screamer
Primal screamer
Joined: 04 Nov 2005
Posts: 973
PostPosted: 07-17-2006 04:26 PM           Profile   Send private message  E-mail  Edit post Reply with quote


Eraser wrote:

Oh well, in the end the war wasn't so bad, for me anyway. Being half Strogg has it's advantages. I don't waste any more time in the bathroom or sleeping and the itches are gone after using this allergenic cream I got from the doctor. Next week I'm going to Mars, to this teleportation research facility. I've got a job there as security guard. Should be a relaxing and quiet way to spend the day. I'm already looking forward to it...


OMG, DOOM 3 LOPL
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Captain
Legend
Legend
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 16499
PostPosted: 07-18-2006 03:20 AM           Profile Send private message  E-mail  Edit post Reply with quote


I cant spell u wrote:
Eraser wrote:

Oh well, in the end the war wasn't so bad, for me anyway. Being half Strogg has it's advantages. I don't waste any more time in the bathroom or sleeping and the itches are gone after using this allergenic cream I got from the doctor. Next week I'm going to Mars, to this teleportation research facility. I've got a job there as security guard. Should be a relaxing and quiet way to spend the day. I'm already looking forward to it...


OMG, DOOM 3 LOPL


F U I WAS GONNA SAY THAT
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