Another shit thread

Post by **brisk** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:39 pm

ek wrote:so you walk around with shit stains? :icon25:

Better down there than walking around with shit underneath my nails.

Post by ek » Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:42 pm

i think you're either forgeting to trim your nails, or wash your hands.

Post by **Foo** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:43 pm

ah, the 'touching shit' mental barrier.

Post by **brisk** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:45 pm

ek wrote:i think you're either forgeting to trim your nails, or wash your hands.

I think after wiping your ass with your hands (sans toilet paper), washing them afterwards is kinda obvious.

With bleech that is.

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:05 am

brisk wrote:
Call me a traditionalist, but I simply cannot compel myself to wet my hand and wipe my shitty asshole with it.

best solution is to aim a hose up ur arse while ur sittin on the can, and use one finger to rub your anus clean - the stream of water actually acts as a barrier between your finger and the fecal matter. And yes, you wash your hands afterwards.

Post by **Wabbit** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:45 am

Jules, I like yah and I love yah, but I always cleanup with tp first. It is then acceptable to wet and soap tissue and continue cleaning up. I never dip my fingers in shit if I can help it. Maybe you're use to the shit smell on your fingers, but it is really tough to get those particles off your fingers and out from under and around nail beds.

I was also told by a proctologist that males "generally" do have larger bm's than women...even if the male and female are of the same height. He was talking to my husband and I at the time. He didn't explain exactly why this was.

Edit: And wtf? Who keeps a hose in their bathroom? I've been to Canada and I've never seen any bathrooms either there or in the US that came equiped with a hose.

Post by ek » Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:48 am

its called a bidet you yutz. and general practitioners wouldnt know their left ball sack from their right.

Post by **Chupacabra** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:56 am

[xeno]Julios wrote:
brisk wrote:
Call me a traditionalist, but I simply cannot compel myself to wet my hand and wipe my shitty asshole with it.
best solution is to aim a hose up ur arse while ur sittin on the can, and use one finger to rub your anus clean - the stream of water actually acts as a barrier between your finger and the fecal matter. And yes, you wash your hands afterwards.

FTW

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:57 am

Wabbit wrote:Jules, I like yah and I love yah, but I always cleanup with tp first. It is then acceptable to wet and soap tissue and continue cleaning up. I never dip my fingers in shit if I can help it. Maybe you're use to the shit smell on your fingers, but it is really tough to get those particles off your fingers and out from under and around nail beds.

Edit: And wtf? Who keeps a hose in their bathroom? I've been to Canada and I've never seen any bathrooms either there or in the US that came equiped with a hose.

that's coz north america is so hygienically backwards when it comes to healthcare of the anus.

You go to europe, asia, middle east, and you'll find hoses a plenty. Even the poorest restaurant in the mid east will have a hose next to the can.

I also don't think u understand the way in which a bidet works (a hose is functionally identical to a bidet).

Sure if you have a particularly messy bowel movement, go ahead and use toilet paper before using the bidet if you want.

And the smell of shit never gets on my fingers. Only one of my fingers comes close to touching the shit, and i wash thoroughly with soap right afterwards. I can' t stand the smell of feces either, which is why i value this method so much.

And it's not like u stick ur finger in there where stuff would get under ur nails.

A brilliant solution is to use your thumb and middle finger to pry open ur anus (stretch it open by applying lateral pressure on both buttocks). Then the water hits the messy spot directly and does most of the work for you (and the thumb and middle finger remain perfectly clean since they're touching the clean fleshy skin of your buttock. The only finger that veers close to the hotspot is your index finger, and you don't need to stick it in a hole - it merely rubs the area clean.

Sorry to be so explicit - but this is occasionally required when bad habits have become so institutionalized.

Post by **plained** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 1:21 am

i myself cant aford to have a stinky bum.

chicks ey :icon19:

Post by **seremtan** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 1:58 am

my shit comes out gift-wrapped with a scented bow and a little card, so i never need to wipe ever. i'm like the fecal santa, dropping precious anal gifts everywhere i go

Post by **busetibi** » Tue Apr 11, 2006 2:24 am

ek wrote:its called a bidet

:icon14:

works like a charm.

edit: do none of you lot have children?

"ewwwww i cant stand to touch shit"
"ewwww i hate the smell of shit"
lmao, wait till you have to change a baby's nappy.