Quake3World

should not be allowed to work together :icon7: just when u think a hot squirty sit has cleared you out, a massive vomit removes all doubt so tere u sit, pants around ankles, sqiurting like a porn star and vomiting in to a bowl. Add a high temp adn the shakes and they seem to trigger each other too

lol...spinach...or just a moron?...

the worst is when it's just because you're ill.

there's nothing wrong with projectile shitting and spewing blood and kebab bits everywhere if you've spent the last 18 hours dancing/drinking/fucking/having fun - you can laugh it off. but if you're in that state because you ate some bad chicken or some lurgied bastard sneezed on you, it just isn't fair.

have a big glass of whisky and a splif or a line of coke, show your body who the boss is.

Squirting shits like a porn star? You watch some seriously disgusting stuff if that's the case...

BUUURN

4days wrote:there's nothing wrong with projectile shitting and spewing blood and kebab bits everywhere if you've spent the last 18 hours dancing/drinking/fucking/having fun - you can laugh it off. but if you're in that state because you ate some bad chicken or some lurgied bastard sneezed on you, it just isn't fair.

I ate old imitation crab meat, which is really just fish, while partying. I smoked, got the munchies, opened the fridge and started chowing down w/o looking at the exipration date. Where does that fit in? I spent most of my first week at my first real job in the shitter because of that.

i hate that burning asshole feeling you get from really nasty diarrhea. where it hurts to even wipe down there and you know the next wave of shit is on deck but you're afraid to let go for the pain and burning.
but you should welcome diarrhea, as it gets the poison out.
thats what my 2nd grade teacher told us once. No shit.

Freakaloin wrote:lol...spinach...or just a moron?...

lol, that was the first thing i thought too.

S@M wrote:should not be allowed to work together :icon7: just when u think a hot squirty sit has cleared you out, a massive vomit removes all doubt so tere u sit, pants around ankles, sqiurting like a porn star and vomiting in to a bowl. Add a high temp adn the shakes and they seem to trigger each other too

welcome to every Sunday morning in the desert. Healthy hang overs, eat a spicy sandwich afterwards and drink a mountain dew :icon14:

tnf wrote:i hate that burning asshole feeling you get from really nasty diarrhea. where it hurts to even wipe down there and you know the next wave of shit is on deck but you're afraid to let go for the pain and burning.
but you should welcome diarrhea, as it gets the poison out.
thats what my 2nd grade teacher told us once. No shit.

ahhh... i just got a bad flashback to the superpainful shits i had to deal when getting of the pain killers. Felt like my ring was on fire.

Taking a break?

My ring is on fire.

Asspirin

Dr_Watson wrote:

tnf wrote:i hate that burning asshole feeling you get from really nasty diarrhea. where it hurts to even wipe down there and you know the next wave of shit is on deck but you're afraid to let go for the pain and burning.
but you should welcome diarrhea, as it gets the poison out.
thats what my 2nd grade teacher told us once. No shit.

ahhh... i just got a bad flashback to the superpainful shits i had to deal when getting of the pain killers. Felt like my ring was on fire.

Withdrawal shits...not fun. After my surgery I loaded up on immodium while tapering off to avoid that. Now I find it easier just to stay on the painkillers nonstop.

tnf wrote:

Dr_Watson wrote:

tnf wrote:i hate that burning asshole feeling you get from really nasty diarrhea. where it hurts to even wipe down there and you know the next wave of shit is on deck but you're afraid to let go for the pain and burning.
but you should welcome diarrhea, as it gets the poison out.
thats what my 2nd grade teacher told us once. No shit.

ahhh... i just got a bad flashback to the superpainful shits i had to deal when getting of the pain killers. Felt like my ring was on fire.

Withdrawal shits...not fun. After my surgery I loaded up on immodium while tapering off to avoid that. Now I find it easier just to stay on the painkillers nonstop.

yeah, a few months of lortab constipation followed by the withdrawl sickness, that was an insane week.
nothing beats sitting on the can with cold sweats and seemingly more matter than my body posses blasting by my ring... If i was religious i probably would have seen god.

Back to my buddy that did herion. He "quit" 3 different times on his own. He told me he lay on his bathroom floor shitting and vomitting for hours on end, wishing he would die. Almost 2 years later he's still going to the methadone clinic. He's afraid of the withdrawl.

Fender wrote:Back to my buddy that did herion. He "quit" 3 different times on his own. He told me he lay on his bathroom floor shitting and vomitting for hours on end, wishing he would die. Almost 2 years later he's still going to the methadone clinic. He's afraid of the withdrawl.

doesn't sound too fun.

i wonder if one can taper off heroin like one can taper off pain meds to prevent most withdrawal symptoms.

Still, no matter what the cause, diarrhea sucks. When you throw vomiting into the mix, its exponentially worse.

i could have threaded a needle at 20 feet on Thursday. Shit 5 times before my first period class. Nothing is worse than being in front of a room full of students on a hot day and suddenly feeling your gut start to twist about and feel your bunghole start to quiver as it struggles to hold the floodgates closed.

Fucking lol, the level of detail here is fantastic

Captain Mazda wrote:Fucking lol, the level of detail here is fantastic

we take our poop threads very seriously here.

I'm going through diarrohea hell at the moment. Dunno what's causing it or how long it's gonna go on for but it's the last thing I need right now.

So far I'm on peppermint capsules and blackberry tea, on the basis that immodium would stop the diarrohea but prolong the infection (if that's what it is).

Captain Mazda wrote:Fucking lol, the level of detail here is fantastic

I think the best shit story in terms of detail was jules's one about his first day at the new job, he went into great detail about pressure on valves and a gradually released fart that took place over the span of an hour or something, then having to be in the only bathroom in the office for 45 minutes or something.

it was funny.

now how do our shit threads compare to the stories told in this shit thread?
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/shitstories/

I think ours are better...but there were some funny ones there.

man, im down 7kgs, that cant all be from teh last 2 days surely???
I dont weigh my self regularly, but I doubt anyone can loose 7kgs of fluid over 2 days and still stand upright. I've eaten one piece of toast since Friday, but even so...

yeah Jules thread was a winna but some of yours on the gut wrenching, sphincter quivering moments youve had were pretty good too.

tnf wrote:now how do our shit threads compare to the stories told in this shit thread?
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/shitstories/

I think ours are better...but there were some funny ones there.

I once had a shit in a toilet with a particularly shallow bowl. It was a quite a long solid one, and unfortunately was just shorter than the distance twixt anus and porcelain.

It left my arse and almost immediately hit the bowl, and because the fall had been so gentle it stood up straight for a second instead of breaking or splatting. It then leaned forwards and gently caressed my unsuspecting bollocks with its shitty tip, leaving behind a fair sized deposit, before slumping against the front of the bowl as if satisfied with its evil work. I had to clean my poor shit-smeared sack and run home for a shower.

The sensation of having shit on your bollocks is fucking awful, especially when you were just having a normal casual shit and you weren't even fucked or ill or anything. *shudders*

I'd guess you could lose that much water weight. Drink some pedialyte.

I've got a touch of the irritable bowel, so I'm constantly generating new ones. Doesn't happen too much anymore, but when it does...man o man.

I think shit threads and stories are popular in a sense because every single person, no matter who you are, how good looking, rich, famous, etc., whatever...everyone has, at one point or another, been a complete slave to their sphnicter....to the point where they would do just about anything for a toilet.
Its the great equalizer.

mik0rs wrote:

tnf wrote:now how do our shit threads compare to the stories told in this shit thread?
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/shitstories/

I think ours are better...but there were some funny ones there.

I once had a shit in a toilet with a particularly shallow bowl. It was a quite a long solid one, and unfortunately was just shorter than the distance twixt anus and porcelain.

It left my arse and almost immediately hit the bowl, and because the fall had been so gentle it stood up straight for a second instead of breaking or splatting. It then leaned forwards and gently caressed my unsuspecting bollocks with its shitty tip, leaving behind a fair sized deposit, before slumping against the front of the bowl as if satisfied with its evil work. I had to clean my poor shit-smeared sack and run home for a shower.

The sensation of having shit on your bollocks is fucking awful, especially when you were just having a normal casual shit and you weren't even fucked or ill or anything. *shudders*

that one reminded me of the time I had taken a perfectly normal shit, one that felt really clean, and get to wiping and lo and behold there is shit everywhere. Turns out I had a hardened little piece of turd stuck to one tiny ass hair deep in the crack. My wiping had broken it open and also smeared all across the crack. It was like the more I wiped, the more shit there was. And of course, this was in a toilet in the staff lounge with people 5 feet away from the door casually reading books and whatnot. It wasn't a big deal in terms of noises (no embarassing farts, groans, or me saying 'please god kill me now') but the excessive number of wipes, each prefaced by the loud rattle of the metal box holding the toilet paper, and the number of flushes required to keep me from backing up the toilet was pretty bad. And I use a lot of TP when its messy down there because I want my hands nowhere near that stuff. 6 or so flushes later I had to stroll out, greeted by that awkward silence where everyone tries as hard as they can to act like they didn't notice that you were just in there for the better part of the last 20 minutes.