Quake3World

ok so yesterday the missus went shopping early in the morning, and picked up some goods. About 3/4 through the day, I noticed in one of the bathrooms a blue-ish cylindrical dispenser device with a small bit of white cloth sticking from the top of it. Interesting. At this point, i'd better let you in on a little secret: being old and prone to that not-so-fresh feeling from time to time, I'm a compulsive wiper, I wipe sometimes 4 to 5 times after a good steamer, I can't lie. Well, anyway that should build up to the point where i'm not about let curiosity get the upper hand. With the intelligence, guts and determination of a mexican drug lord's 13 year old son, I snapped off one of those pillowy sheets and committed a few rigorous passes around the stink clipper. Suddenly, I noticed a change. Startled by the sudden alternating stinging and numbness radiating from the burning ring of fire, i grabbed the cheerful blue tube and stared with stunned rage into the face of NightShade wearing a white t-shirt and golden hoop earring and a fucking smirk mocking my sudden horrid pain and irritation.
who uses a disposable wipe to clean a fucking toilet, anyway? Should I yell at the woman or keep it a secret? I'm calling poison control. This sucks.

p.s. Fuck you, nightshade.

THE HARPOONS

man them

HAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! Stupid fucker.

Underpants? wrote:ok so yesterday the missus went shopping early in the morning, and picked up some goods. About 3/4 through the day, I noticed in one of the bathrooms a blue-ish cylindrical dispenser device with a small bit of white cloth sticking from the top of it. Interesting. At this point, i'd better let you in on a little secret: being old and prone to that not-so-fresh feeling from time to time, I'm a compulsive wiper, I wipe sometimes 4 to 5 times after a good steamer, I can't lie. Well, anyway that should build up to the point where i'm not about let curiosity get the upper hand. With the intelligence, guts and determination of a mexican drug lord's 13 year old son, I snapped off one of those pillowy sheets and committed a few rigorous passes around the stink clipper. Suddenly, I noticed a change. Startled by the sudden alternating stinging and numbness radiating from the burning ring of fire, i grabbed the cheerful blue tube and stared with stunned rage into the face of NightShade wearing a white t-shirt and golden hoop earring and a fucking smirk mocking my sudden horrid pain and irritation.
who uses a disposable wipe to clean a fucking toilet, anyway? Should I yell at the woman or keep it a secret? I'm calling poison control. This sucks.

p.s. Fuck you, nightshade.

this weeks winning post.

Oh yeah: Ha Ha!

Haha...you got raped by Mr.Clean. Anally.

So I guess it isn't the wife's turn wearing the strap on pile driver this weekend?

Underpants? wrote:ok so yesterday the missus went shopping early in the morning, and picked up some goods. About 3/4 through the day, I noticed in one of the bathrooms a blue-ish cylindrical dispenser device with a small bit of white cloth sticking from the top of it. Interesting. At this point, i'd better let you in on a little secret: being old and prone to that not-so-fresh feeling from time to time, I'm a compulsive wiper, I wipe sometimes 4 to 5 times after a good steamer, I can't lie. Well, anyway that should build up to the point where i'm not about let curiosity get the upper hand. With the intelligence, guts and determination of a mexican drug lord's 13 year old son, I snapped off one of those pillowy sheets and committed a few rigorous passes around the stink clipper. Suddenly, I noticed a change. Startled by the sudden alternating stinging and numbness radiating from the burning ring of fire, i grabbed the cheerful blue tube and stared with stunned rage into the face of NightShade wearing a white t-shirt and golden hoop earring and a fucking smirk mocking my sudden horrid pain and irritation.
who uses a disposable wipe to clean a fucking toilet, anyway? Should I yell at the woman or keep it a secret? I'm calling poison control. This sucks.

p.s. Fuck you, nightshade.

a wonderful story

excellent

I have disposable bleach wipes on a file cabinet near the door to the classroom and kids always grab them and wipe their hands off with them. Ah youth.

And only 4 to 5 times after a good steamer? A colleague was relaying a story the other day of a horrid experience after a knee surgery that left him so constipated he ended up with a rock hard shit broke off after it made it halfway out of his ass. The remainder was stuck, and wasn't going anywhere. Worst experience of his life, apparently.

tnf, I remember reading that you've only clogged the toilet once with pure shit. You must eat a lot of fiber, because I can't go a month without a clogger.

That was just once with pure shit. Hasn't ever happened again.

great story, would read again

nice one man

i don't envy you

hehe meister proper

Captain Mazda wrote:tnf, I remember reading that you've only clogged the toilet once with pure shit. You must eat a lot of fiber, because I can't go a month without a clogger.

I do that just about weekly.

Fender wrote:

Captain Mazda wrote:tnf, I remember reading that you've only clogged the toilet once with pure shit. You must eat a lot of fiber, because I can't go a month without a clogger.

I do that just about weekly.

With just shit?

Damn.

And my clog was due in part to constipation from pain meds I took during a horrible kidney stone. When clog finally cleared, it was an ass-tearing experience.