Quake3World

At the 2007 Gas and Oil Exposition in Calgary, two keynote speakers introduced as representatives from ExxonMobil and the National Petroleum Council addressed the specter of Peak Oil. "Without oil," NPC's Shepard Wolf warned, "at least 4 billion people would starve." In order to "keep the oil flowing," he continued, "we need something infinitely more abundant than whales." Wolf's solution: It's time to consider transforming dying humans into biofuel.

"Some 150,000 people already die from climate-change-related effects every year," ExxonMobil's faux rep Florian Osenberg argued. "Those bodies could be turned into fuel for the rest of us." Wolf and Osenberg used a PowerPoint presentation to introduce Vivoleum(tm), a new Exxon product rendered from human fat.