Don't get kidney stones
Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:52 am
About 7 years ago I had a brief ordeal with kidney stones which involved a short visit to the ER and a prescription for pain meds. I apparently passed the stone(s) while at the hospital, but I didn't even know it. Either the stones weren't that big, or the meds were that good. Whatever it was, I never learned what kind of kidney stones they were. The only thing my doctor could say was that I should expect to have to deal with them again at some point in the future, and boy have I had to deal with them these last few weeks.
At the beginning of the month, I recognized a familiar burning pain in my lower back, radiating up my right side. I tried to convince myself that I just pulled something, but it got worse and worse until I was worried that I would be beyond the point of being able to drive myself to the hospital, so I hopped (carefully) into my car and drove over the the ER. One ultrasound later, my fears were confirmed and I was told I had a large stone lodged in my right kidney, close to the entrance to my bladder. The doctor said there wasn't much that could be done right then and there short of prescribing a cocktail of meds and scheduling a visit with a urologist in 2 weeks. Hopefully one of the meds would help me pass the stone naturally in the mean time. I went home and managed to get an hour or so of miserable sleep, and over the next few days, I slowly got better. I didn't even have to dip into the prescription for Vicodin the doctor gave me.
By the time my urologist visit came around, the only real residual pain I was feeling was an annoying sharp pinching pain in my bladder. I got a CT scan and I was told I'd get a call to determine the next step once the doctor could look at the results. That was Monday the 18th. By that night, as my luck would have it, I was feeling that back pain coming back with a vengeance. This time it was more severe and now both my sides were on fire, plus it felt like someone was making balloon animals out of my bladder. So back to the ER I went, and they sent me for a CT scan right away. Up until that point, writhing around was my only respite against the pain, so being forced to lie still for the scan was Hell. After a short wait which took ages, a doctor came to see me and told me that the stone had moved, and now they could actually see 2 different stones; one smaller stone way up in my left kidney, and a behemoth hanging out near the passage between my right kidney and my bladder. This stone could not be passed and would need to be broken into smaller pieces and removed surgically. I dubbed it the Black Knight.
Not exactly what I was hoping to hear, especially when I learned that it would be Friday before I could get in for surgery. There is no comfortable way to sit, stand, or lie down in order to feel better when you have kidney stones, there is only the pain. Waves and waves of nauseating pain in my lower back, lancing up my sides, and even into my groin. Every muscle feels tense and twisted, with spasms constantly. My body wanted these foreign objects out, and I was in total agreement. Up until this point I had been able to avoid taking any of the prescribed Vicodin, instead electing for a handful of Ibuprofen and Tylenol every 6 hours, but Monday was a Vicodin day. I managed to avoid it for the rest of the week, and by Friday morning, I was starting to feel optimistic about my anticipated recovery. The doctor said the procedure would be routine and that recovery wouldn't be so bad. After all, the surgery wouldn't involve any incisions (I'll let you imagine how they get the stones out).
I will tell you that the doctor was a damn liar, which I found out abruptly the first time I took a piss after the surgery. I hobbled over to the bathroom, feeling kind of positive about how little pain I felt in my sides at that moment, but as soon as I started pissing, it felt like pipe cleaners were being yanked out of my urethra. My dick just shrank an inch thinking about it again. The pain made me regret being an Atheist. It took every ounce of control I had to not stop pissing and just keep going until I emptied the tank. A tank, mind you, filled with what looked to be pure blood. Oh, and blood clots, as I would discover once I got home. Nice long ropey blood clots that reminded me of CaseDogg.
The doctor assured me this was totally normal, that the pain would subside, and I would forget all about this by the end of the weekend. Ha. I won't belabor the point, suffice it to say that the recovery has been a bit slower and I'm only just now able to sit upright in an office chair for longer than a few minutes without horrible pain. Actually, I think I'm going to go lie down again.
Drink lots of water. Don't get kidney stones.
At the beginning of the month, I recognized a familiar burning pain in my lower back, radiating up my right side. I tried to convince myself that I just pulled something, but it got worse and worse until I was worried that I would be beyond the point of being able to drive myself to the hospital, so I hopped (carefully) into my car and drove over the the ER. One ultrasound later, my fears were confirmed and I was told I had a large stone lodged in my right kidney, close to the entrance to my bladder. The doctor said there wasn't much that could be done right then and there short of prescribing a cocktail of meds and scheduling a visit with a urologist in 2 weeks. Hopefully one of the meds would help me pass the stone naturally in the mean time. I went home and managed to get an hour or so of miserable sleep, and over the next few days, I slowly got better. I didn't even have to dip into the prescription for Vicodin the doctor gave me.
By the time my urologist visit came around, the only real residual pain I was feeling was an annoying sharp pinching pain in my bladder. I got a CT scan and I was told I'd get a call to determine the next step once the doctor could look at the results. That was Monday the 18th. By that night, as my luck would have it, I was feeling that back pain coming back with a vengeance. This time it was more severe and now both my sides were on fire, plus it felt like someone was making balloon animals out of my bladder. So back to the ER I went, and they sent me for a CT scan right away. Up until that point, writhing around was my only respite against the pain, so being forced to lie still for the scan was Hell. After a short wait which took ages, a doctor came to see me and told me that the stone had moved, and now they could actually see 2 different stones; one smaller stone way up in my left kidney, and a behemoth hanging out near the passage between my right kidney and my bladder. This stone could not be passed and would need to be broken into smaller pieces and removed surgically. I dubbed it the Black Knight.
Not exactly what I was hoping to hear, especially when I learned that it would be Friday before I could get in for surgery. There is no comfortable way to sit, stand, or lie down in order to feel better when you have kidney stones, there is only the pain. Waves and waves of nauseating pain in my lower back, lancing up my sides, and even into my groin. Every muscle feels tense and twisted, with spasms constantly. My body wanted these foreign objects out, and I was in total agreement. Up until this point I had been able to avoid taking any of the prescribed Vicodin, instead electing for a handful of Ibuprofen and Tylenol every 6 hours, but Monday was a Vicodin day. I managed to avoid it for the rest of the week, and by Friday morning, I was starting to feel optimistic about my anticipated recovery. The doctor said the procedure would be routine and that recovery wouldn't be so bad. After all, the surgery wouldn't involve any incisions (I'll let you imagine how they get the stones out).
I will tell you that the doctor was a damn liar, which I found out abruptly the first time I took a piss after the surgery. I hobbled over to the bathroom, feeling kind of positive about how little pain I felt in my sides at that moment, but as soon as I started pissing, it felt like pipe cleaners were being yanked out of my urethra. My dick just shrank an inch thinking about it again. The pain made me regret being an Atheist. It took every ounce of control I had to not stop pissing and just keep going until I emptied the tank. A tank, mind you, filled with what looked to be pure blood. Oh, and blood clots, as I would discover once I got home. Nice long ropey blood clots that reminded me of CaseDogg.
The doctor assured me this was totally normal, that the pain would subside, and I would forget all about this by the end of the weekend. Ha. I won't belabor the point, suffice it to say that the recovery has been a bit slower and I'm only just now able to sit upright in an office chair for longer than a few minutes without horrible pain. Actually, I think I'm going to go lie down again.
Drink lots of water. Don't get kidney stones.
