Stoned thought of the day...

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dzjepp
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Stoned thought of the day...

Post by dzjepp »

Hope I get off easier that Kracus... :paranoid:

Ok say there was a device that attaches to your shoes, and with the touch of a button it would propel you up wards, not very much, just a few feet would suffice...

Now would this work if people used it while falling out of buildings? Ok I know that when you are falling a ton of stories you are not exactly leveled horizontally that you can just land on your feet, but say that you would, and the device made a beeping sound telling you that you are about 5 feet from the ground impact, and at this time it would use the built-in propulsion system to send you upward (I dunno, maybe it would be a 2-piece thing where one detaches from the other)... if done right would this be able to maybe save your life? Now that all of a sudden you are being thrusted in a different direction, or would the down force be to great to affect any upward motion on the body?

Kthx. :paranoid:
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DooMer
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Post by DooMer »

I AM A BANANA
Grandpa Stu
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Post by Grandpa Stu »

Image
Uaintseenme
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Post by Uaintseenme »

Ok think about it like this. You pull the trigger on a gun and it shoots a bullet. The bullet's going pretty fuckin fast. Now, say the bullet was heading towards your face and you try blowing on it with all your might...what happens?
mik0rs
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Post by mik0rs »

You're getting a pretty big upward force when you hit the ground (sort of), I'd have though anything that could counteract terminal velocity to a sufficient extent would do you some serious damage, I mean it'd have to be a hell of a push to stop you going *splat*, so surely that force would do a hell of a lot of damage. Say it might shatter your pelvis.

You'd probably need quite a few feet of propulsion anyway.

I haven't done physics for years though, so that's probably all shite.
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dzjepp
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Post by dzjepp »

Well, I've heard that if you where falling in an elevator and the moment you where about to crash if you jumped up you wouldn't brake your legs and shit... but fuck me where did I hear this?
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GONNAFISTYA
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Re: Stoned thought of the day...

Post by GONNAFISTYA »

dzjepp wrote: Now that all of a sudden you are being thrusted in a different direction, or would the down force be to great to affect any upward motion on the body?

Kthx. :paranoid:
Immediately changing direction within 5 feet of the ground would actually add more to the forces that would kill you on impact anyway.

You'd still go splat....but this time you'd be compressed enough to do what every man wants and suck your own cock right down to the balls.
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GONNAFISTYA
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Post by GONNAFISTYA »

dzjepp wrote:Well, I've heard that if you where falling in an elevator and the moment you where about to crash if you jumped up you wouldn't brake your legs and shit... but fuck me where did I hear this?
In a haze of bong smoke.
dzjepp
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Post by dzjepp »

Grandpa Stu wrote:Image
Fuck and I was about to market this thing to every skyscraper office in America :tear:
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GONNAFISTYA
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Post by GONNAFISTYA »

Uaintseenme wrote:Ok think about it like this. You pull the trigger on a gun and it shoots a bullet. The bullet's going pretty fuckin fast. Now, say the bullet was heading towards your face and you try blowing on it with all your might...what happens?
You die with a puckered mouth and you'll be buried looking like you croaked sucking grandpa's one eyed snake.
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Post by Guest »

Jesus so that's what it's like.
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GONNAFISTYA
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Post by GONNAFISTYA »

Kracus wrote:Jesus so that's what it's like.
Only you'd add:
...and then we could control the particles (which I don't understand) between our feet and the ground with our thoughts (which I don't understand) so that we could manipulate the star matter stuff dealio that ties the blackholes (which I don't understand) to the uncertainty principle (which I don't understand) but only if you walk through the teleporter sideways and holding a can of baked beans cause that guy in the talking wheelchair spoke to me while I was on the toilet crunching out a hershey bar.
[xeno]Julios
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Post by [xeno]Julios »

a more feasible design would be one which dissipated the thrust over a longer period of time/distance than 5 feet. As such, it would have to be a jet based system, rather than one that relied on thrusting upon a surface (this way, it can change your momentum even in space).

In order to be jet thruster based, it would require storage of fuel that can be combusted at a high rate. You'd therefore need a reservoir, and heat insulation.

I don't think that with today's technology we could fit such a system on the bottom of one's soles without severe dysfunction (you'd probably not be able to walk on them).
mik0rs
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Post by mik0rs »

Yeah, the longer distance thing was exactly what I was thinking. Less broken bones/splatting.
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^misantropia^
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Post by ^misantropia^ »

dzjepp wrote:Well, I've heard that if you where falling in an elevator and the moment you where about to crash if you jumped up you wouldn't brake your legs and shit...
The impact of the landing will be reduced since your upward velocity is subtracted from the downwards velocity. Won't make much of a difference since your downwards acceleration would be about 9.81m/s (disregarding initial acceleration).
dzjepp
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Post by dzjepp »

Ok then. I'm going to sing up for some physics classes next semester. :D
tnf
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Re: Stoned thought of the day...

Post by tnf »

dzjepp wrote:Hope I get off easier that Kracus... :paranoid:

Ok say there was a device that attaches to your shoes, and with the touch of a button it would propel you up wards, not very much, just a few feet would suffice...

Now would this work if people used it while falling out of buildings? Ok I know that when you are falling a ton of stories you are not exactly leveled horizontally that you can just land on your feet, but say that you would, and the device made a beeping sound telling you that you are about 5 feet from the ground impact, and at this time it would use the built-in propulsion system to send you upward (I dunno, maybe it would be a 2-piece thing where one detaches from the other)... if done right would this be able to maybe save your life? Now that all of a sudden you are being thrusted in a different direction, or would the down force be to great to affect any upward motion on the body?

Kthx. :paranoid:
Unlesss you are being sarcastic here, you should not get off easier than Kracus for that one. Think of the force required to overcome the momentum you'd have falling that far, and you are assuming that you are falling perfectly perpendicular to the surface with your feet horizontal to them....wait a minute, why in the hell am I bothering making a real response to this....
HM-PuFFNSTuFF
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Post by HM-PuFFNSTuFF »

all we need here is a simple anti-gravity device
dzjepp
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Re: Stoned thought of the day...

Post by dzjepp »

tnf wrote:
dzjepp wrote:Hope I get off easier that Kracus... :paranoid:

Ok say there was a device that attaches to your shoes, and with the touch of a button it would propel you up wards, not very much, just a few feet would suffice...

Now would this work if people used it while falling out of buildings? Ok I know that when you are falling a ton of stories you are not exactly leveled horizontally that you can just land on your feet, but say that you would, and the device made a beeping sound telling you that you are about 5 feet from the ground impact, and at this time it would use the built-in propulsion system to send you upward (I dunno, maybe it would be a 2-piece thing where one detaches from the other)... if done right would this be able to maybe save your life? Now that all of a sudden you are being thrusted in a different direction, or would the down force be to great to affect any upward motion on the body?

Kthx. :paranoid:
Unless you are being sarcastic here, you should not get off easier than Kracus for that one. Think of the force required to overcome the momentum you'd have falling that far, and you are assuming that you are falling perfectly perpendicular to the surface with your feet horizontal to them....wait a minute, why in the hell am I bothering making a real response to this....
Yes, but look at the creative juices flowing, it shows thought and willingness to learn, the type of glee you would see on a middle school pupil -> :icon28:

Would you at least give me a C- on such a paper if I extended it to 5 pages, for effort? :icon32:
4days
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Post by 4days »

^misantropia^ wrote:
dzjepp wrote:Well, I've heard that if you where falling in an elevator and the moment you where about to crash if you jumped up you wouldn't brake your legs and shit...
The impact of the landing will be reduced since your upward velocity is subtracted from the downwards velocity. Won't make much of a difference since your downwards acceleration would be about 9.81m/s (disregarding initial acceleration).
the second best way to survive falling in an elevator is to lie flat on the ground.

the best way to survive falling in an elevator is to convince anyone else in the elevator to lie flat on the ground, and then lie on top of them.
Ray Finkle
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Post by Ray Finkle »

dzjepp wrote:Well, I've heard that if you where falling in an elevator and the moment you where about to crash if you jumped up you wouldn't brake your legs and shit... but fuck me where did I hear this?
That is a simple myth. You would have to jump up at the same speed as the elevator is falling to counteract the force. So lets say the elevator is falling at ~30-40mph, you would have to jump at ~30-40mph--which is impossible for a human.
[xeno]Julios
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Post by [xeno]Julios »

No discussion on the survival of falls from great heights would be complete without reference to this classic:

http://modernhumorist.com/mh/0103/freefall/

***********************************

The Unplanned Freefall: Tips for a safe landing

by David Carkeet


Admit it: You want to survive an airline disaster. You aren't looking for a disaster to happen, but if it does, you see yourself coming through it. The good news is that you're not out of touch with reality—you can do it. Sure, you'll take a few hits, and you can count on some sweaty flashbacks later, but you'll make it. You'll sit up in your hospital bed and meet the press. If you are considerate, you will keep God out of your public comments, knowing that it's unfair to sing His praises when many of your fellow passengers lack the means to offer an alternative view.

Let's say your jet blows apart at 35,000 feet. You exit the aircraft and begin to descend independently. Now what?



Two Obstacles: Height and Acceleration

First of all, you're starting off a full mile higher than Everest, so after a few gulps of disappointing air you're going to black out. This is not a bad thing. View it as a brief respite from the ambient fear and chaos. At about 15,000 feet, you’ll come to and begin the final phase of your descent, which will last about a minute. This is a time of planning and preparation. Look around you. What equipment is available? Look carefully. Perhaps a shipment of folded parachutes was in the cargo hold, and the blast opened the box and scattered them. One of these just might be within reach. If so, grab it, put it on, and hit the silk. You're sitting pretty.

Other items can be helpful as well. Think of the maple seed as it gently wafts to earth. Can you find a proportionate personal vehicle—some large, flat, aerodynamically suitable piece of wreckage? Yes? Mount it and ride. Remember: Molecules are your friends. You want molecules of solid matter hitting atmospheric molecules in order to reduce your rate of acceleration: thirty-two feet per second per second.

Just how fast are you going? Imagine standing atop a train going 120 mph, and the train goes through a tunnel but you do not. You hit the wall above the opening at 120 mph. That's how fast you will be going at the end of your fall. Make no mistake: You will be "motoring."



Every Cloud You Plummet Through Has a Silver Lining

Much will depend on your attitude. Don't let negative thinking ruin your descent. If you find yourself dwelling morbidly on your discouraging starting point of seven miles up, think of this: Twenty feet is the cutoff for fatality in a fall. That is, most who fall from twenty feet or higher die. Twenty feet! It's nothing! Pity the poor sod who falls from such a "height." What kind of planning time does he have? Think of the pluses in your situation. For example, although you fall faster and faster for the first fifteen seconds or so, you soon reach "terminal velocity"—the point at which atmospheric drag resists gravity's acceleration in a perfect standoff. Not only do you stop speeding up, but because the air is thickening as you fall, you actually begin to slow down. With every foot that you drop, you are going slower and slower. There's more: When parachutists focus on a landing zone, sometimes they become so fascinated with it that they forget to pull the ripcord. Since you probably have no ripcord, "target fixation" poses no danger. Count your blessings.



Trees: Not All Are Alike

Once you have mastered your fears, you will think: trees. It's a reasonable thought. After all, doesn't the soothing "Rock-a-Bye, Baby" tell a tale of survival? You will want a tall tree with an excurrent growth pattern—a single, undivided trunk with lateral branches, delicate on top and thicker as you cascade downward. A conifer is best. The redwood is attractive for the way it rises to shorten your fall, but alas; the redwood's lowest branches grow dangerously high from the ground. Having gone 35,000 feet, you don't want the last 50 feet to ruin everything.

The perfectly tiered Norfolk Island pine is a natural safety net, so if you're near New Zealand, you're in luck. When crunch time comes, elongate your body and hit the tree limbs at a perfectly flat angle as close to the trunk as possible. Think!



Snow: Nature’s Icy Pillow

Snow is good—soft, deep, drifted snow. Snow is lovely. Aim for snow. Remember that you are the pilot and your body is the aircraft. By tilting forward and putting your hands at your side, you can modify your pitch and make progress not just vertically but horizontally as well. As you go down 15,000 feet, you can also go sideways two-thirds of that distance—that's two miles! Choose your landing zone. You be the boss.

If your search discloses no trees or snow, the parachutist's "five-point landing" is useful to remember even in the absence of a parachute. Meet the ground with your feet together, and fall sideways in such a way that five parts of your body successively absorb the shock, equally and in this order: feet, calf, thigh, buttock, and shoulder. 120 divided by five equals 24. Not bad! Twenty-four miles per hour is only a bit faster than the speed at which experienced parachutists land. There will be some bruising and breakage but no loss of consciousness to delay your press conference. Just be sure to apportion the 120-mph blow in equal fifths. Concentrate!



Heroes Who Fell to Grace

Think of others who have gone before you. Think of Vesna Vulovic, a flight attendant who in 1972 fell 33,000 feet in the tail of an exploded DC-9 jetliner. She landed in snow and lived. Vesna knew about molecules.

Think of Joe Hermann of the Royal Australian Air Force, blown out of his bomber in 1944 without a parachute. He found himself falling through the night sky amid airplane debris and wildly grabbed a piece of it. It turned out to be not debris at all, but rather a fellow flyer in the process of pulling his ripcord. Joe hung on and, as a courtesy, hit the ground first, breaking the fall of his savior and a mere two ribs of his own. Joe was not a quitter. Don't you be.

Think of Nick Alkemade, an RAF tailgunner who jumped from his flaming turret without a parachute and fell 18,000 feet. When he came to on the ground and saw stars overhead, he lit a cigarette. He would later describe the fall as "a pleasant experience." Nick's trick: fir trees, underbrush, and snow. But in one important regard, Nick is a disappointment. He gave up. As he hurtled to German soil, he concluded he was going to die and felt "a strange peace." This is exactly the wrong kind of thinking. You cannot plan aggressively while experiencing "a strange peace."



To conclude, you must resolve to survive the second your jet explodes. Here are some encouraging words you can repeat on your way down.

"Keep a-goin'." —Frank L. Stanton

"Failure is not an option." —Ed Harris, as the guy in "Apollo 13" who says, "Failure is not an option"

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops—at all.
" —Emily Dickinson

***********************************
tnf
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Re: Stoned thought of the day...

Post by tnf »

dzjepp wrote:
tnf wrote:
dzjepp wrote:Hope I get off easier that Kracus... :paranoid:

Ok say there was a device that attaches to your shoes, and with the touch of a button it would propel you up wards, not very much, just a few feet would suffice...

Now would this work if people used it while falling out of buildings? Ok I know that when you are falling a ton of stories you are not exactly leveled horizontally that you can just land on your feet, but say that you would, and the device made a beeping sound telling you that you are about 5 feet from the ground impact, and at this time it would use the built-in propulsion system to send you upward (I dunno, maybe it would be a 2-piece thing where one detaches from the other)... if done right would this be able to maybe save your life? Now that all of a sudden you are being thrusted in a different direction, or would the down force be to great to affect any upward motion on the body?

Kthx. :paranoid:
Unless you are being sarcastic here, you should not get off easier than Kracus for that one. Think of the force required to overcome the momentum you'd have falling that far, and you are assuming that you are falling perfectly perpendicular to the surface with your feet horizontal to them....wait a minute, why in the hell am I bothering making a real response to this....
Yes, but look at the creative juices flowing, it shows thought and willingness to learn, the type of glee you would see on a middle school pupil -> :icon28:

Would you at least give me a C- on such a paper if I extended it to 5 pages, for effort? :icon32:

Probably not. If you are going to be wrong, be succinct.
Geebs
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Post by Geebs »

I've got a much better idea! I've invented a device to stop people falling off tall buildings. I'm going to call it a "hand-rail"
+JuggerNaut+
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Post by +JuggerNaut+ »

GONNAFISTYA wrote:
Kracus wrote:Jesus so that's what it's like.
Only you'd add:
...and then we could control the particles (which I don't understand) between our feet and the ground with our thoughts (which I don't understand) so that we could manipulate the star matter stuff dealio that ties the blackholes (which I don't understand) to the uncertainty principle (which I don't understand) but only if you walk through the teleporter sideways and holding a can of baked beans cause that guy in the talking wheelchair spoke to me while I was on the toilet crunching out a hershey bar.
LOL
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