Totally understandable, my father passed away at the beginning of Covid-19 and it really fucked me up for a while. But it gets better. Just lean on your friends for support, that's what they're there for.
I lost my great-granny in 2020, she was 98 at the time (would be 100 this month). She was in senior home, and before Covid hit, we used to visit her every week, have a little chat with relatives, and talk to her. Because during Covid the visits were forbidden, we couldn't visit her, and she was frankly alone, and that took its toll. She might be alive today if visits were allowed during Covid (of course following really strict health safety rules, and visitors without a vaccine wouldn't be allowed in the building anyway). Oh well, another "what if" scenario, and I hate talking about "what if", especially in this context. I do miss her. :tear: