First Draft

Post by **Giraffe }{unter** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:11 am

neighbor,

I want to thank you for stopping by and kindly asking me to move my car, I did not realize my parking in that spot 6 days a week for the last year was bothering you that much. It is very easy for me to park elsewhere and I will fro now on unless there are no other spots on the street. I did have a clue something was wrong this weekend when you shoveled your entire sidewalk onto the hood of my car, leaves garbage and all. While it is a public street with no assigned parking and six other parking spaces around your house, I understand your needs since you husband is disabled. As you can see I am a reasonable and nice person and will remain that way untill you pull that shit again. How can you tell me you made a fucking igloo out of my car because your arm was broke? It takes more effort to shovel snow and leaves 10 feet in the air than it does to push it to the curb. I have to give you credit though you got the point across which is why I parked right back there today.

If I find that instead of talking to me you abuse my property again I will reflect my revenge 10 fold on you , your house, your car and your family.

Your friendly neighbor
--Mike

I'm not sure, I think I need to work on the ending before I pin it to her car...

Post by **Foo** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:13 am

I wouldn't put that last part of the letter in. The rest makes the point perfectly well.

Just suggest that the decision to do it again might be taken only by someone of lower intellect.

Also " I will fro now"

Post by **HM-PuFFNSTuFF** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:14 am

i think she wants your cock

Post by **Imalawyer** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:16 am

My freind looks like you need a lawyers touch, your letter is dumb my freind. I will help you in a min. Okay sir?

Post by **werldhed** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:17 am

I wouldn't threaten her. Just point out that you have every right to park wherever you'd like, since it's a public street. The people across the street from my girlfriend's house try to pull that shit, too. But instead, they take it to her landlord, and he makes her move the car so he won't be on bad terms with the neighbors. Assholes.
Are these the same people that egged your car before?

(You've got some typos, too)

Post by **plained** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:18 am

how many inches from your car to her her approach?

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:19 am

why not knock on her door and speak to her over a cup of earl grey?

More likely to solve the problem AND create a sense of peace.

Post by **HM-PuFFNSTuFF** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:21 am

too unamerican

Post by **Imalawyer** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:21 am

Dear neighbor,

I happened to notice that you have shoveled snow on my car. I understand you are frustrated because I am parking in a certain spot, however you can fuck off you dumb piece of filthy cow shit. I’m going to continue putting my car there because I am the fucking man, if I see anymore horseshit from you then I swear to god I will come into your house and rape your fucking dirty hole. I will push your handicapped husband down the street in a shopping cart, and then I will slam him into a fucking wall until his brains are coming out of ears. I will then come back and cut your fucking head off and skull fuck it till my dick becomes limp. I hope you understand, thank you for your time.

Kisses, Michael

Post by **plained** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:25 am

the reason i ask is i had a person crowd my approch closer proggressivly closer for like hunderds of days.

i'd be all like, haveing hassles trying to back in.

i jus worked around it, then one day some other niebor ask them why so cunty?

i guess they got embarressed cause i had plenty of room from then on

Post by **Imalawyer** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:26 am

plained wrote:the reason i ask is i had a person crowd my approch closer proggressivly closer for like hunderds of days.

i'd be all like, haveing hassles trying to back in.

i jus worked around it, then one day some other niebor ask them why so cunty?

i guess they got embarressed cause i had plenty of room from then on

WHAT?

Post by **Giraffe }{unter** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:28 am

lol I was kiddin, and just blowing off some steam. She stopped by earlier and asked if I can park somewhere else. because her husband is disabled. I said sure no problem, but why did you throw all thar snow and garbage on my car this weekens, when all you had to do was come and ask me?

"My arm es broked esorry..."

Now I understand her frustration... whatever I park the car there 6 days a week and never move it, excpt on tuesday for street cleaning. her house is a corner house on a public street and apparently 6 parking spaces isn't enough room for her little cougar.

Since she asked I will try to keep my car somewhere else but I told ther acting like a child and shoveling snow on my car is not the way to get things done. I also told her if I am forced to park there again and any harm gets done to my car I will know who did it and I will take action to make sure she pays for it.

as she left I said "it's my arm is broken" not "es broked"

Post by **plained** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:29 am

hey now doen make me make you sue me

i talk good

Post by **HM-PuFFNSTuFF** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:29 am

maybe she meant it's borked

Post by **HM-PuFFNSTuFF** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:30 am

and by arm, she meant brain

Post by **Giraffe }{unter** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:30 am

Imalawyer wrote:Dear neighbor,

I happened to notice that you have shoveled snow on my car. I understand you are frustrated because I am parking in a certain spot, however you can fuck off you dumb piece of filthy cow shit. I’m going to continue putting my car there because I am the fucking man, if I see anymore horseshit from you then I swear to god I will come into your house and rape your fucking dirty hole. I will push your handicapped husband down the street in a shopping cart, and then I will slam him into a fucking wall until his brains are coming out of ears. I will then come back and cut your fucking head off and skull fuck it till my dick becomes limp. I hope you understand, thank you for your time.

Kisses, Michael

Wow that is like so close to what I deleted before posting this it's scary

Post by **plained** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:30 am

riddla wrote:
Imalawyer wrote:WHAT?
He blocked their cookies and removed their punkbuster, then purposefully misspelled everything and that was what truly taught them a lesson.

hey i musta ofended you ey?

well im sorry on the internet mkay?

Post by **Imalawyer** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:31 am

Giraffe }{unter wrote:lol I was kiddin, and just blowing off some steam. She stopped by earlier and asked if I can park somewhere else. because her husband is disabled. I said sure no problem, but why did you throw all thar snow and garbage on my car this weekens, when all you had to do was come and ask me?

"My arm es broked esorry..."

Now I understand her frustration... whatever I park the car there 6 days a week and never move it, excpt on tuesday for street cleaning. her house is a corner house on a public street and apparently 6 parking spaces isn't enough room for her little cougar.

Since she asked I will try to keep my car somewhere else but I told ther acting like a child and shoveling snow on my car is not the way to get things done. I also told her if I am forced to park there again and any harm gets done to my car I will know who did it and I will take action to make sure she pays for it.

as she left I said "it's my arm is broken" not "es broked"

Are you a complete pussy or what? Grab a hammer and go bash some skulls.

Post by **plained** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:31 am

Giraffe }{unter wrote:
Imalawyer wrote:Dear neighbor,

I happened to notice that you have shoveled snow on my car. I understand you are frustrated because I am parking in a certain spot, however you can fuck off you dumb piece of filthy cow shit. I’m going to continue putting my car there because I am the fucking man, if I see anymore horseshit from you then I swear to god I will come into your house and rape your fucking dirty hole. I will push your handicapped husband down the street in a shopping cart, and then I will slam him into a fucking wall until his brains are coming out of ears. I will then come back and cut your fucking head off and skull fuck it till my dick becomes limp. I hope you understand, thank you for your time.

Kisses, Michael

Wow that is like so close to what I deleted before posting this it's scary

how close to her approch?

and directly in front of her house?

Post by **Giraffe }{unter** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:40 am

HM-PuFFNSTuFF wrote:too unamerican

true it was hard to be nice after she lied to me about why she shoveld all that crap on my car.

I though about it for a good 2 hours then went to move the car, I figured if she's that miserable she wants to work hard and shovel a ton of snow on my car then there is nothing more I can do to make her life worse. This must have been eating away at her for a long time, i mean that car has been there since I got rid of the 350Z in February of last year LOL and spratically before that when I was driving he z

So I guess I made her miserable enough even though she has a corner hous surrounded by at least 6 spots lol

Post by **plained** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:42 am

well i see than.

i say use money to buy a large driveway

Post by **Giraffe }{unter** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:44 am

plained wrote:

how close to her approch?

and directly in front of her house?

She has a front entrance and side entrance I usually park no where near either entrance. I think she is just pissed because there is no parking around our area and if I take up one spot all week that's one less spot she can park in. seriously though there is always parking within 40 feet of her door so I don't know what she complains about...

Post by **plained** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:45 am

btw i'd never shovel stuff on not my stuff and i'd never give a note like that.

sounds as though youve wasted alot of energy on this

Post by **plained** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:48 am

Giraffe }{unter wrote:
plained wrote:

how close to her approch?

and directly in front of her house?
She has a front entrance and side entrance I usually park no where near either entrance. I think she is just pissed because there is no parking around our area and if I take up one spot all week that's one less spot she can park in. seriously though there is always parking within 40 feet of her door so I don't know what she complains about...

ok that sounds reasonable.

i wouldnt do the note.

try and talk to her and have a sense of houmer bout it.

maybe youse can resolve it easily who knows?

yea my spelling sucks like i care sorry if you do

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 3:12 am

i'm having problems understanding how an adult living in a civilized english speaking country could even think to call an arm "broked".

Is english not her first language?

i mean here in toronto, even the homeless are educated ffs...