I was wondering it it's possible to create a launch icon for quake that will launch the quake 4 max mod, AND connect me to my game server using the ip address.
If anyone could help with this I would greatly appreciate it.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean by creating a launch icon, but you can connect to a particular server with q4max by adding this to the command line:
Just run steamfish (quake 4\q4max\) and let it create the icons. Then add the +connect <ip adress:port number> part in the shortcut (properties target). You'll see that +set fs_game is already there in the Q4MAX shortcut.