At COMDEX recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. last but not least, you'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
If Microsoft made cars...
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Monster w/ 21 Faces
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Monster w/ 21 Faces
- Posts: 362
- Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:58 pm
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Freakaloin
- Posts: 10620
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Monster w/ 21 Faces
- Posts: 362
- Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:58 pm
The $100 TATTOO
Larry gets home late one night and his wife,Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo.""A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you Get?""I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly. "What the hell were you thinking?" she said,Shaking her head in disdain."Why on earth would an accountant get a hundredDollar bill tattooed on his privates?" "Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.Three, I like how money feels in my hand.And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping , youCan stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytimeyou want." Larry is recovering in room 232 at John Hopkins Hospital.
Larry gets home late one night and his wife,Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo.""A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you Get?""I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly. "What the hell were you thinking?" she said,Shaking her head in disdain."Why on earth would an accountant get a hundredDollar bill tattooed on his privates?" "Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.Three, I like how money feels in my hand.And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping , youCan stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytimeyou want." Larry is recovering in room 232 at John Hopkins Hospital.
[color=red][WYD][/color]S[color=red]o[/color]M
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Freakaloin
- Posts: 10620
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no...his mom emails him periodically cuz she scared to call him(we won't get into that) to make sure hasn't committed suicide...Monster w/ 21 Faces wrote:His Mom emails him naked pictures of her Mom.
a defining attribute of a government is that it has a monopoly on the legitimate exercise of violence...
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Kills On Site
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Nightshade
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Massive Quasars
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o, drum
Where did the world go wrong with you?
Where did the world go wrong with you?
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Massive Quasars
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the funny overwhelms the wrongHM-PuFFNSTuFF wrote:omg that's so funny but so wrong
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