WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."
President-elect Bush vows that "together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us."
"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."
Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.
During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.
Pete, please: listen carefully. "Caroline Weber" does not exist.
The Onion article you attacked is not "her piece." It was written by a comedy writer. Who is not "Caroline Weber," has not just had an abortion, and is more than likely not even a woman.
It is truly stunning that you do not understand this. That you still do not understand this, even after being mocked mercilessly on the previous thread. Even after being told, repeatedly, to get a clue, you're still in dire need of one. Oof.
Everyone who read that article--including plenty of pro-lifers, to judge by the previous comment thread--realized that it was a gag. You were the single person--quite possibly on the planet--who did not. This is a very illuminating sign about your inability to tell the difference between reality and your own flights of fancy, Pete. You need help, buddy. And badly.
In the story you tell in this post, it appears that you've been taken in again--this time by a woman who clearly wanted to get a psycho anti-abortion zealot out of her face and who therefore decided to feed him a line of bullshit to see how much he'd accept. Her little plan appears to have worked far better than she could reasonably have expected.
The point of the Onion satire, of course, is that women who are "psyched" about having an abortion do not exist in the real world. The reason that piece is funny is because it shows the absurdity of the world you seriously believe you are living in. Everyone (even pro-lifers) recognizes how absurd the "Caroline Weber" caricature is. Everyone, that is, except for you.
Take. The. Hint. You're living in a whacked-out fantasy, Pete. For your own sake, please return to the real world.
Rieux | 07.11.06 - 1:13 am | #
Good God you're dumb! Seriously, how do you figure out how to turn on the computer every morning? Does someone do it for you, or do you try to type a post on the coffee maker first?
Marsupial | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 1:15 am | #
*replaced bold emphasis with underlined emphasis b/c quoting bolds everything
Last edited by Massive Quasars on Tue Jul 11, 2006 11:28 pm, edited 4 times in total.
