Brent has been in jail for 10 long years.
The only thought that gets him through the day is women's bellybuttons. He loves 'em. When he's in the shower, eating a meal, making license plates, sleeping, avoiding anal rape in the bathroom, that's all he can think about.
So finally, he is released. They give him sixty-five dollars, a cheap suit, and send him on his way. He makes an immediate bee-line for the nearest whorehouse.
Brent walks in and right up to the sleazy-looking guy behind the desk. "I need to lick a woman's navel!" he shouts.
"Sorry, sir," the owner says. "We don't serve perverts here."
Brent grabs the guy by the throat. "Listen!" he screams. "I just did ten years hard time, and if I don't get to lick some bellybuttons, I might just kill some-motherfuckin'-body!!!"
The owner directs him to a run-down wooden door. He walks through and sees an ugly, fat woman. That doesn't bother Brent, though, because not only does she have huge breasts, she has the deepest navel he's ever seen.
Brent dives in immediately. He licks, and licks, and licks.....and after a while, gets a piece of potato stuck in his teeth. 'Hmmm, I don't remember having potatoes for breakfast,' he thinks, but he keeps on goin'.
He licks, and licks, and licks.....and after a while, he gets a piece of meat stuck in his teeth. 'I know I haven't eaten meat for a while,' he thinks, but keeps right on goin'.
He licks, and licks, and licks.....and after a while, he gets a piece of corn in his teeth. That was the last straw. "I think I'm going to be sick, he moans."
"That's funny," says the whore. "That's what the last guy said."
Joke thread
An elderly German man steps into confessional, and tells his priest:
"Many years ago, during the war, a beautiful young Jewish woman came to my door asking to be hidden in my attic, which I agreed to."
The priest replies, "well that was very noble of you, I see no need for confession."
"There's more though", the man says. "At first I turned her away, fearing what might happen if the authorities found out. But she offered sexual favors in return for her stay, and I agreed."
"Well, that is certainly a sin, but war is a trying time, God will forgive you" the priest replies.
"Thank you father, you have no idea what a relief it is after so many years keeping my secret."
"Glad to be of service my son, is there anything else?"
After a brief pause the man says, "well, there is one more thing."
After a few moments of silence, the priest says, "go on, you can say anything in confessional."
The man sighs and says, "should I tell her the war is over?"
"Many years ago, during the war, a beautiful young Jewish woman came to my door asking to be hidden in my attic, which I agreed to."
The priest replies, "well that was very noble of you, I see no need for confession."
"There's more though", the man says. "At first I turned her away, fearing what might happen if the authorities found out. But she offered sexual favors in return for her stay, and I agreed."
"Well, that is certainly a sin, but war is a trying time, God will forgive you" the priest replies.
"Thank you father, you have no idea what a relief it is after so many years keeping my secret."
"Glad to be of service my son, is there anything else?"
After a brief pause the man says, "well, there is one more thing."
After a few moments of silence, the priest says, "go on, you can say anything in confessional."
The man sighs and says, "should I tell her the war is over?"
there this horny female monkey at a zoo where i work but all the male monkeys died so i asked my buddy shadd_ one day if he would be willing to fuck the monkey for $500 dollars.
shadd_ said he would in a weeks time because it would take him that long to save up enough money to do it.
shadd_ said he would in a weeks time because it would take him that long to save up enough money to do it.
[color=#FF0000][WYD][/color]
I work at a pharmaceutical company. A patient called in to the call center complaining that her prescription wasn't working. When a customer complains, they are transferred to a pharmacist to go over the details. This woman's prescription was similar to Nystatin, which is commonly used for yeast infections. This medication comes in pill form or applied as a cream or powder.
The pharmacist went through the checklist.
Pharmacist: Are you applying the medication in the morning as directed?
Patient: Yes, but it isn't working.
Pharmacist: Ok... how are you applying the Nystatin jelly?
Patient: I put it on my toast at breakfast.
and this is a true story
The pharmacist went through the checklist.
Pharmacist: Are you applying the medication in the morning as directed?
Patient: Yes, but it isn't working.
Pharmacist: Ok... how are you applying the Nystatin jelly?
Patient: I put it on my toast at breakfast.
and this is a true story 
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eepberries
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