A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to
the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk
shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to
convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to
find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the
Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to
slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and,
he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to
give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone
oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I
went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from
the HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took
HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle
as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praying
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and
out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not
have been the best way to start."
crap joke
-
Nightshade
- Posts: 17020
- Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2000 8:00 am
Crap joke:
A priest, a reverend, and a rabbi are playing a round of golf. The foursome in front of them are taking FOREVER, and don't seem to notice the group of clergy or let them play through. After an agonizingly long 18 holes, the trio are in the clubhouse and they start griping about the slow foursome. A nearby patron informs them that the golfers were all blind, yet they still managed to play. At this point, the shocked men of the cloth all looked at each other sheepishly. The reverend said: "Gentlemen, I'm inspired, and at service this Sunday, I'll relate this tale and tell of how the Holy Spirit can move one to overcome great adversity."
The priest replies: "Indeed. At Mass this Sunday, my sermon will tell how these brave souls were blessed by the Lord with the will to make use of the gifts of their other senses to lead normal lives."
They look at the rabbi who says "What? They couldn't play at night?"
REAL crap joke:
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
DUNG!
A priest, a reverend, and a rabbi are playing a round of golf. The foursome in front of them are taking FOREVER, and don't seem to notice the group of clergy or let them play through. After an agonizingly long 18 holes, the trio are in the clubhouse and they start griping about the slow foursome. A nearby patron informs them that the golfers were all blind, yet they still managed to play. At this point, the shocked men of the cloth all looked at each other sheepishly. The reverend said: "Gentlemen, I'm inspired, and at service this Sunday, I'll relate this tale and tell of how the Holy Spirit can move one to overcome great adversity."
The priest replies: "Indeed. At Mass this Sunday, my sermon will tell how these brave souls were blessed by the Lord with the will to make use of the gifts of their other senses to lead normal lives."
They look at the rabbi who says "What? They couldn't play at night?"
REAL crap joke:
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
DUNG!