How many 5 year olds would it take to kick your ass?

Post by **Fender** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:39 pm

:lol:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showf ... art=1&vc=1

And now the real question... Why don't we have threads like that here?

Post by **Massive Quasars** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 1:50 pm

Post by **Jackal** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:21 pm

The other night a friend and I were discussing the exact same subject.

Post by **signa** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 5:51 pm

The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed.

um ya right. when one of their heads gets exploded like a bloodsausage they will be running away like cockroaches.

Post by **SplishSplash** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 6:06 pm

Stupid thread. 5-year-olds are completely helpless, there's no way they could hurt me.

10-year-olds, now that's interesting.
I think I could take about 5, maybe more.

Post by **CrinklyArse** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 7:25 pm

SplishSplash wrote:Stupid thread. 5-year-olds are completely helpless, there's no way they could hurt me.

saying that, 30 of the little bastards could still be tricky to handle. while ure takin care of one another would sneak right up on ya....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 8:06 pm

What a retarded topic... I figure no ammount of 5 year olds could take me down, I'd go down of exhaustion, not because a bunch of 5 year olds brought me down. I dunno how long it'd take for me to get that exhausted though tbh...

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 10:32 pm

it might seem that way when you run the thought experiment, but I can assure you that in the real situation, you'd be fighting for your life.

read the conditions carefully:

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 10:35 pm

imagine they're all like this:

Post by **Duhard** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 10:39 pm

He's softcore...smoking cigarettes is for the weak.

Real men smoke everything else.

gg!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 10:53 pm

[xeno]Julios wrote:it might seem that way when you run the thought experiment, but I can assure you that in the real situation, you'd be fighting for your life.

read the conditions carefully:

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?

Yeah I read em beforehand... The problem is that 5 year olds just aren't coordinated enough to really do anything properly. Even if they had me completely surrounded there wouldn't be more than about 8 or 9 tops tugging on you, hit's would be pretty pointless. I've been punched by a 5 year before too and it kinda tickles. Even at full strength a 5 year old can't hurt me unless the kid punched me directly in the nuts. Even then, if I was fighting for my life, I'd still boot the kid across the room without much problem.

Basicly, the problem with this scenario is that it'd only take 1 boot or punch to knock any of these kids the fuck out. 50 punches doesn't seem like that much tbh... I think I'd go down of fatigue more than anything.

age 10+ though could be a problem.

Post by **bitWISE** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 11:05 pm

Ok Kracus...

Lets say you have 30 kids that weigh about 50 lbs each. That is 1500 lbs. All they have to do is come at you all at once like a swarm and get you down. Then you get that 1500 lb pile sitting on your chest and you either die or pass out.

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 11:30 pm

ugh - server went down - luckily i saved my post:

Kracus wrote: Yeah I read em beforehand... The problem is that 5 year olds just aren't coordinated enough to really do anything properly.

that simply ain't true - if you train kids at an early age, they can become incredibly coordinated by 5 years old. Think of all those russian gymnasts, or that 3 year old drummer, etc...

Also, if a horde of 5 year olds rushed you from all angles, the sheer momentum would be enough to knock you over. From that point, you either asphyxiate, or they use their training to deactive you. They could bite at your neck and puncture a jugular, or chew their way into your lungs/heart. Remember, these kids are not limited by squeamishness or pain.

sys0p · Post by **sys0p** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 11:40 pm

I reckon I could take 500. I'd grab the first kid by the neck and then hold him hostage. The ransom would be that the rest of the kids had to kick their own asses.

Christ I'm clever.

Post by **CrinklyArse** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:03 am

what if they all hated each other?

Post by **stocktroll** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:13 am

lol 5 year olds are way too young....thats like asking how many infants can you beat up before they get the upper hand

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:21 am

That's exactly what they're saying....

Post by **random name** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:22 am

[xeno]Julios wrote:it might seem that way when you run the thought experiment, but I can assure you that in the real situation, you'd be fighting for your life.

Yeah, five year olds are fuckin' dangerous, tigers on the other hand...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:26 am

bitWISE wrote:Ok Kracus...

Lets say you have 30 kids that weigh about 50 lbs each. That is 1500 lbs. All they have to do is come at you all at once like a swarm and get you down. Then you get that 1500 lb pile sitting on your chest and you either die or pass out.

Sorry, kids aren't that smart, even if they did what would stop me from jumping over them and landing on them instantly crushing two of them, then taking the closest one and swinging him about wildly smacking other kids around? I mean seriously, it's a joke, I've played with many kids before and there's just no way. Even with a day of training (like that'd do anything you can't keep a 5 year olds attention to anything more than a couple minutes anyway!) they'd still be fucked, half of em would be tripping over the other half if they tried to rush anything. Ever see a 5 year old run after something with wild abandon before? They never get far...

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:26 am

random name wrote: Yeah, five year olds are fuckin' dangerous, tigers on the other hand...

:icon19:

hey i never said i could beat a tiger - just that there might be a small chance that someone with the right training could. The whole point of the exercise was creative suicide.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:27 am

I just can't see it... Hey, maybe if you DROPPED a couplel hundred toddlers from 100 feet on my ass THAT might work :icon19:

Post by **SplishSplash** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:29 am

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!"
*splat*

Post by **random name** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:32 am

I think someone should try.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:38 am

Oh btw... just for the record here boys, you aren't much of a man if you admit that some 5 year olds could beat you up.

Post by **tnf** » Sat Mar 26, 2005 1:34 am

Kracus wrote:
bitWISE wrote:Ok Kracus...

Lets say you have 30 kids that weigh about 50 lbs each. That is 1500 lbs. All they have to do is come at you all at once like a swarm and get you down. Then you get that 1500 lb pile sitting on your chest and you either die or pass out.
Sorry, kids aren't that smart, even if they did what would stop me from jumping over them and landing on them instantly crushing two of them, then taking the closest one and swinging him about wildly smacking other kids around? I mean seriously, it's a joke, I've played with many kids before and there's just no way. Even with a day of training (like that'd do anything you can't keep a 5 year olds attention to anything more than a couple minutes anyway!) they'd still be fucked, half of em would be tripping over the other half if they tried to rush anything. Ever see a 5 year old run after something with wild abandon before? They never get far...

Enough of them and they wouldn't have to be smart.
You'd fatigue eventually if there were enough as well.
This is, of course, assuming that they are going to be going balls out with no fear about pain. The first batch would have to be willing to go down for the cause.

I'd tell the kids "you might take me 500 on 1, but I will bring at least 20 of you down with me. Who wants to die?" Plus, I've found that kids tend to laugh if they see an adult in pain that they caused. I used to do that with my cousin's kids - if one was crying because he got hurt, I'd have him punch me then act like it really hurt. Eventually, he'd beging laughing as he saw me in pain. Now, turn that instinct on in about 500 of them after seeing one adult in some pain, and that primal rage in them all would unleash....the tiny fists...the rage....just like when Kramer got whooped by his karate class kids.