Confusion

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Ryoki
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Confusion

Post by Ryoki »

A German man has been arrested after he climbed into an emergency postbox for unwanted babies while drunk.

Heinrich Mueller, 28, slid down the chute and ended up in an emergency incubator, triggering alarms among medical staff.

But instead of another unwanted newborn baby, they found Mueller smoking a cigarette.

He then fell asleep as staff worked out how to get him out of the incubator at the hospital in Dortmund.

Hundreds of babies have been deposited in the boxes set up across Germany and Austria since the scheme started five years ago.

It came into effect after more and more young mums unable to cope with their newborns had been abandoning them on the street. The baby boxes offered a safe 'no questions asked' alternative.
Ryoki
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Post by Ryoki »

A Polish man cut off his own genitals in a drunken fit of rage after his wife left him.

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, from Zakopane, slashed off his penis and testicles with a six inch kitchen knife after downing more than a bottle of vodka.

He managed to call doctors to tell them what he had done and they sent a special helicopter rescue team to fly him to the northern town of Bialystok where surgeons specialise in sewing back severed organs.

But heavy fog on the way delayed the helicopter and by the time they reached the hospital doctors said it was too late to reattach the man's private parts.

He is now expected to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to re-build his penis using skin from elsewhere on his body.
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LawL
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Re: Confusion

Post by LawL »

Ryoki wrote:
A German man has been arrested after he climbed into an emergency postbox for unwanted babies while drunk.

Heinrich Mueller, 28, slid down the chute and ended up in an emergency incubator, triggering alarms among medical staff.

But instead of another unwanted newborn baby, they found Mueller smoking a cigarette.

He then fell asleep as staff worked out how to get him out of the incubator at the hospital in Dortmund.

Hundreds of babies have been deposited in the boxes set up across Germany and Austria since the scheme started five years ago.

It came into effect after more and more young mums unable to cope with their newborns had been abandoning them on the street. The baby boxes offered a safe 'no questions asked' alternative.
Germans. :olo:
Thick, solid and tight in all the right places.
Ryoki
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Post by Ryoki »

Slobodan Milosevic's daughter Marija Milosevic has hired security guards to protect her father's body from vampire hunters.

The self-styled vampire hunters have already made one attempt at driving a wooden stake through the former dictator's heart to 'stop him returning from the dead'.

Milosevic is buried in the front garden of his former home in the northern Serbian town of Pozarevac.

His daughter Marija said local police had refused to act to protect the grave even though they knew it was being targeted.

The vampire hunters' first attempt failed after they drove the stake into the ground without digging up the coffin, and missed the heart.

Vampire hunter Miroslav Milosevic said they believed the spirit of the former dictator could return to haunt the country if the ritual was not performed.

Slobodan Milosevic died on March 11, 2006, while on trial before a UN war crimes tribunal for his role in the 1990s break-up of the former Yugoslavia.
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Ryoki
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Post by Ryoki »

A Romanian woman needed medical help after she swallowed her lover's false teeth during a moment of passion.

The 38-year-old woman, from Galati, went to hospital with stomach pains claiming she had swallowed a foreign object but without saying what it was.

Doctors were surprised when the x-ray showed false teeth in her stomach.

Eventually she admitted she gulped down the denture while experimenting a 'special type of passionate kiss' with her boyfriend.

After spending two days in hospital, the foreign object left the woman's body the natural way.
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Grudge
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Post by Grudge »

lol, wtf
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MKJ
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Post by MKJ »

Life is Complicated
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Doombrain
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Post by Doombrain »

shit, give me the links
Ryoki
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Post by Ryoki »

Be looksy here and thou shalst find more numerous tales of confusion: http://www.ananova.com
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Captain
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Post by Captain »

MKJ wrote:Life is Complicated
LiC my balls :angry:
Doombrain
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Post by Doombrain »

There's a bloke called Tad who works for us and he's been off sick for a month now :olo:
Nightshade
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Post by Nightshade »

Captain Mazda wrote:
MKJ wrote:Life is Complicated
LiC my balls :angry:
Horrid.
Ryoki
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Post by Ryoki »

A top female politician ín Holland wants Dutch prostitutes sent abroad with the troops to help them relax.

Annemarie Jorritsma, a politician for the centre-right People's Party for Freedom and Democracy (VVD) and the mayor of the town of Almere, went on national Dutch TV to demand the 'extra benefits' for soldiers.

She added: "The army must think about how their soldiers can let off some steam."

The ideas has been backed by the Dutch sex workers union which said it thought the idea had some merit.

But an unnamed military spokesman, quoted in the 'Volkskrant' newspaper, expressed reservations.

He said: "I don't think my wife would like the idea very much."

There are currently around 2,000 Dutch soldiers stationed outside of the Netherlands, the majority in either Afghanistan and Bosnia.
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Ryoki
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Post by Ryoki »

A Chinese man had to have his contact lenses surgically removed after he did not take them out for a year.

Liu, 40, started to wear contact lenses a year ago and never took them out because he found it difficult.

"I only have some eye drops for when they feel uncomfortable," he told Chutian City News.

Liu recently felt his eyesight was getting worse, so he bought another pair of lenses and wore them on top of the old ones.

But when his eyesight still didn't improve, he took another startling decision.

"I put a pair of used disposal contact lenses over the other two pairs in my eyes. By then, I was wearing three pairs of lenses," he said.

By the next day, Liu's eyes had reacted badly to his DIY eyecare and he finally sought medical attention.

A doctor was shocked to find the first lenses had grown into his eyes and surgery was needed to take them out.
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MKJ
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Post by MKJ »

lollers
really. some people are just not equipped to live in this world
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S@M
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Post by S@M »

haha priceless stuff Ryoki,
"Liberty, what crimes are committed in your name."
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Captain
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Post by Captain »

Ryoki wrote:
A Chinese man had to have his contact lenses surgically removed after he did not take them out for a year.

Liu, 40, started to wear contact lenses a year ago and never took them out because he found it difficult.

"I only have some eye drops for when they feel uncomfortable," he told Chutian City News.

Liu recently felt his eyesight was getting worse, so he bought another pair of lenses and wore them on top of the old ones.

But when his eyesight still didn't improve, he took another startling decision.

"I put a pair of used disposal contact lenses over the other two pairs in my eyes. By then, I was wearing three pairs of lenses," he said.

By the next day, Liu's eyes had reacted badly to his DIY eyecare and he finally sought medical attention.

A doctor was shocked to find the first lenses had grown into his eyes and surgery was needed to take them out.
:olo:
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