Holy shit these killed me

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Captain
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Holy shit these killed me

Post by Captain »

Q) What do you call a chav in a box?
A) Innit

Q) What do you call a chav in a small box?
A) Innit just

Q) What do you call a chav in space?
A) Well out

Q) What do you call a chav in an extremely small box?
A) Innit blud

Q) What do you call a chav in a vault?
A) Safe

Q) What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
A) Sorted

Q) What’s wrong with putting 4 chavs in a mini bus and pushing it over a cliff?
A) You can fit 18 in a mini bus

Q) Why should you never run over a chav on a bike?
A) It's probably your bike

Q) 2 chavs are in a car, there’s no music on, who is driving?
A) The Police

Q) 2 chavs are fighting on a cliff side, both fall over the edge and die, who wins?
A) Society

Q) What do you call 20 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A) Good start

Q) What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A) A Dream

Q) What do you call all the chavs at the bottom of a river?
A) a dream come true

Q) What do chavs use for protection during sex?
A) A bus stop

Q) How does a chav turn off the light after having sex?
A) It throws a brick at the lamp-post

Q) How does a chavette turn off the light after having sex?
A) It closes the car door

Q) What do chavs and slinkys have in common?
A) They're both useless, but it's fun to watch them fall down stairs

Q) Whats more fun than watching a chav fall down a flight of stairs?
A) Pushing one down

Q) What’s the difference between a chav and a coconut?
A) One’s brown and hairy, the other is a coconut

Q) What’s the difference between a chavette and an orange?
A) One’s orange and pimply, the other is an orange

Q) What do you call a chav in a three-bedroom house?
A) A burglar

Q) What do you say to a chav with a job?
A) “Can I have fries with that?”

Q) What do you say to a chav at the peak of its career?
A) "Can I have fries with that?"

Q) What do you say to a chav in a suit?
A) “Will the defendant please rise”

Q) What do you call a chav with 5 GCSEs?
A) A liar

Q) What do you call a chav in a job centre?
A) Lost

Q) What do you call a chav in a cement mixer?
A) Hard

Q) What do you call a chavette in a white tracksuit?
A) The bride

Q) What's a chav's definiton of safe sex?
A) Locking the car door

Q) Why do chavs always laugh at the end of their sentences?
A) To compensate for all the dropped 'h's

Q} Why is dogshit better than a chav?
A} At least the dogshit stops stinking after a while.

Q) How do you know if a chav has burgled your home?
A} The bin is empty and the dog is pregnant.

Q) Whats the difference between a chav and a terrorist?
A} You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q) What do you call a 25 year old chav?
A) Granny.

Q) What do you call a 26 year old chav?
A) Dead.

Q) What do you call 50, 26 year old chavs?
A) Graveyard.

Q) What do you call a group of chavs?
A) Crimescene.

Q) What do you call a chav who speaks proper english?
A) Fake.

Q) What do you call a person who smells, has AIDs, and will never get a proper job, Let alone any?
A) Chav.

Q) What does a 15 year old chav say to his 17 year old girlfriend?
A) Hey mum.

Q) What do you do when you see a chav with half a face?
A) Stop laughing and re-load.

Q) What do you call a chav in a packet of crips?
A) “Salted”(sounds like sorted)

Q) What do you call a chav with an IQ higher than 60?
A) A genius among retards.

Q) What do you call a chav with no name?
A) It doesn't matter, he's still a wanker.

Q) What do you call a chav with more than 10 quid in his pocket?
A) Guilty.

Q) What do you do if you run over a chav?
A) Reverse, just to make sure.

Q) What do you call a chav locked in a metal box?
A) "Safe"

:olo:
bork[e]
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Post by bork[e] »

Image
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seremtan
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Post by seremtan »

most of those are either versions of other jokes, or not funny, or both
LawL
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Post by LawL »

You taught him well.
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Post by Ryoki »

Terrible.
[size=85][color=#0080BF]io chiamo pinguini![/color][/size]
Nightshade
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Post by Nightshade »

seremtan wrote:most of those are either versions of other jokes, or not funny, or both
All rehashed blonde or negro jokes. And much like Spazda, nowhere even close to funny. Not at all surprised that he finds them hilarious, though.
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seremtan
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Post by seremtan »

LawL wrote:You taught him well.
from the textbook you wrote
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Post by Grudge »

I remember Doombrain getting all upset once when I called him a chav.
LawL
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Post by LawL »

seremtan wrote:
LawL wrote:You taught him well.
from the textbook you wrote
Based on your posts.
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Post by Massive Quasars »

Which I transcribed.
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seremtan
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Post by seremtan »

LawL wrote:
seremtan wrote:
LawL wrote:You taught him well.
from the textbook you wrote
Based on your posts.
which you ran through your patented anti-comedy filter and stripped out the funny
Nightshade
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Post by Nightshade »

And subsequently we all wished you'd both shut the fuck up.
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seremtan
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Post by seremtan »

grr :olo:
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MKJ
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Post by MKJ »

lol
LawL
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Post by LawL »

seremtan wrote:
LawL wrote:
seremtan wrote: from the textbook you wrote
Based on your posts.
which you ran through your patented anti-comedy filter and stripped out the funny
To which the posts came out precisely the same.
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Post by Doombrain »

LawL wrote:
seremtan wrote:
LawL wrote: Based on your posts.
which you ran through your patented anti-comedy filter and stripped out the funny
To which the posts came out precisely the same.
yes, not funny.
LawL
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Post by LawL »

Which is the exact point you retard. :olo:
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seremtan
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Post by seremtan »

lol, you've just admitted your posts aren't funny you fucking dolt :olo:
LawL
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Post by LawL »

Yeah, by saying your posts come out completely unfunny. :olo:
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seremtan
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Post by seremtan »

dolt :olo:
LawL
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Post by LawL »

Moron. :olo:
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Post by Captain »

ehe ey dun be upset :shlip:
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