wiping your ass

[PhoeniX]

You know, here in the UK fanny is slang for vagina, which provides childish humor when watching American TV programs that mention it.

[plained]

here in canada ive heard peeps say fanny as a refer to arse

ex- get ur fanny over here!

i guess i should start spreading the word!

ok asap first canadian i see i let them know!

[seremtan]

stuntcock? do you go through rings of fire?

*rimshot* (<- bonuspun!)

die in a freak windmilling accident

[AmIdYfReAk]

you registered Massive Quasars, take comfort

[tnf]

Ah another shit thread. I've had some more near misses lately. As for wiping, I don't do baby wipes, wet wipes, etc...just toilet paper. As for timing - I cannot for the life of me get my body to shift when I shit - so it hits every day right when I get to work. Normally not a problem when things are solid and moving at a normal pace, but some days it can be pretty hairy heading from the parking garage to the elevator to the skybridge to the shitter on the 2nd floor that is my safe-haven (low-traffic, clean, not usually shitted out). There are two staff shitters in there, one men's and one women's. The other day the men's was locked and I was either going to shit my pants, shit in the garbage can, or shit in the women's restroom. I chose the women's. Someone tried the door while I was proceeding let controlled farts out between each piece of shit (ever get gas built up between logs? I do and it causes some turds to come out at about mach 2.) So anyway, I finish up about 5 minutes later (long for me). Embarassing part was the woman who had checked the door 5 minutes ago was standing outside the door fucking waiting to use the can as I leave. Who the fuck waits that long? If the door is locked and someone doesn't leave in a minute or two, odds are you don't want to follow them in. And we have about 6 other staff restrooms in the building. So I walk out, she smiles and say "Oh, was the men's locked? Don't worry we do the same thing...hehe" and waltzes right in. Not a word was said about the terrible horribleness emanating from the toilet, but I don't see how she was able to stay in that room for any period of time in the condition I left it in.

On another note, my brother and I were in the midst of a bit of a farting contest the other night when he and his wife were visiting. He leans into one and yells "Goddammit" then gets up and runs to the bathroom (to wipe). How often do you wipe after sharts/farts? Luckily I am not afflicted by sharts.

[shadd_]

drag my ass along a snowbank.

lol@sharts

[Geebs]

-only person in this thread who has manually evacuated another human being

[HM-PuFFNSTuFF]

and hate

[EtUL]

-only person in this thread who has manually evacuated another human being

we're jealous

[EtUL]

only if you say please and its thumb

[horton]

Ah another shit thread. I've had some more near misses lately. As for wiping, I don't do baby wipes, wet wipes, etc...just toilet paper. As for timing - I cannot for the life of me get my body to shift when I shit - so it hits every day right when I get to work.

On another note, my brother and I were in the midst of a bit of a farting contest the other night when he and his wife were visiting. He leans into one and yells "Goddammit" then gets up and runs to the bathroom (to wipe). How often do you wipe after sharts/farts? Luckily I am not afflicted by sharts.

normally, I have need a dump when I wake up (my girlfriend hates it because I spend the 30mins between waking up and getting out of bad non-stop farting) however on the days I wake up a little late, I require a dump as soon as I get to work.
That is normally not a problem, however on the day the bitch who opens my school was late, I had to take a dump in the local park toilet, which is filthy, and inhabited by ass-fuckers.

On the subject of sharts, I have only sharted once, that I can remember and I was lucky enough to be at home and naked. I was sitting on the floor using the PC, pushed a fart out and had shart all over the floor. I hate to think how the fuckers who shart at work or on the train deal with it.

[EtUL]

eyeve sharted twice, once was just in my pants when i was a wee lad, the other time i was polishin the carrot and thought i was lettin out a pleasure fart

glad it was just me, would have been embarassing had it been with the gf at the time

[MKJ]

jesus christ

[+JuggerNaut+]

eyeve sharted twice, once was just in my pants when i was a wee lad, the other time i was polishin the carrot and thought i was lettin out a pleasure fart

glad it was just me, would have been embarassing had it been with the gf at the time

rofl

[Massive Quasars]

eyeve sharted twice, once was just in my pants when i was a wee lad, the other time i was polishin the carrot and thought i was lettin out a pleasure fart

glad it was just me, would have been embarassing had it been with the gf at the time

It's good to have you back, eddie.

[seremtan]

eyeve sharted twice, once was just in my pants when i was a wee lad, the other time i was polishin the carrot and thought i was lettin out a pleasure fart

glad it was just me, would have been embarassing had it been with the gf at the time

[mancubus]

I get the family dog to lick my arse clean.