Any parents in here?

[Giraffe }{unter]

WTF is with everyone telling us that it's weird that our child (now 3 1/2 months) does not sleep in bed with us? Since day one my wife and I agreed on a parenting strategy it was very easy to follow a book titled On Becoming Babywise was a perfect fit for our lifestyle.

We also agreed no baby in our bed or bedroom (except in the morning when she uses the baby to get my lazy ass out of bed) at 9 weeks our little one slept through the night 9pm - 6:30am, she follows a steady sleep / eat routing that allows us to go shopping or out to eat with a quiet happy or sleeping baby. Yet other parents feel the need to criticize the fact that since our baby does not sleep with us we are not doing it right.

Someone actually felt the need to send this over

"Whilst some may believe cosleeping to be unsafe, if it's done safely there are many benefits. Cosleeping promotes confidence and self esteem. Children who do not cosleep are harder to control, less able to deal with stress and are more likely to be dependent upon their parents. Indeed the majority of babies around the world cosleep with their parents; it is only a western phenomenon in which children sleep on their own in their own rooms."

Of course it was another parent with a baby that keeps them up all night...

What are your parenting techniques in the fist year of raising a child? How did it work for you?

[Jackal]

Your friends are idiots.

Not to mention the fact that a baby sleeping alone is more likely to foster independent behaviour.

That quote above is so contradictory that it's rediculous. On one hand it says that a baby that sleeps alone will be "harder to control" as a child and then it goes on to say said child would be "dependent upon their parents".

[shaft]

We have a movable bassinet and usually keep the baby in that at night in our room for the first couple months. Makes it easier for midnight feedings. After that its their own room in a crib.

Sleeping with an infant in your bed is a good way to accidentally smother them.

[Fender]

People always want to tell you about their "better" way. Tell them to mind their own goddamn business.

Neither of our kids co-slept. Simply not for us. My brother-in-law basically didn't have sex for 3 years because of co-sleeping. Fuck that.

Our daughter is 3.5 and not hard to control or overly dependent. Our 4 month old started sleeping through the night around 3 months, although he's been getting up once a night recently.

Kids thrive on routine. Pick something and stick to it.

[andyman]

I don't have any, but I don't see anything wrong with letting your child sleep in your bed instead of a cage. Everybody asks 'what would jesus do' but i always ask 'what would ancient caveman do' and they would let the baby sleep on their saber tooth tiger pilt with them.
When my brother was old enough to sleep in a bed, he would still walk over to the parents room and sleep with them, it's not a big deal really. GET BACK IN YOUR BED, THIS GUY ON THE INTERNET MESSAGED ME AND SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO STAY IN YOUR BED GOD DAMMIT

[andyman]

"Whilst ........Indeed .............; "

man this guy really tries too hard

[feedback]

Sleeping with an infant in your bed is a good way to accidentally smother them.

Well I guess that's one good reason to have them sleep with you.

[axbaby]

my baby brother would not sleep until we rocked him to sleep for like 30 minutes , it was a bad habit that my mother started and one that we had to do for a whole fucking year.

start the kid's life properly .. let him sleep alone and cry till the roof falls down. eventually he will get the message that your job isn't to be his servant and don't take him to your room when he cries just to get him to stop crying.

do not let the baby be in charge.

[Lieutenant Dan]

my baby brother would not sleep until we rocked him to sleep for like 30 minutes , it was a bad habit that my mother started and one that we had to do for a whole fucking year.

start the kid's life properly .. let him sleep alone and cry till the roof falls down. eventually he will get the message that your job isn't to be his servant and don't take him to your room when he cries just to get him to stop crying.

do not let the baby be in charge.

That's how I was raised. Worked great for me.

[Tsakali]

Your friends are idiots.

Not to mention the fact that a baby sleeping alone is more likely to foster independent behaviour.

That quote above is so contradictory that it's rediculous. On one hand it says that a baby that sleeps alone will be "harder to control" as a child and then it goes on to say said child would be "dependent upon their parents".

lol that's what I thought


On a general point... I aint nobody's daddy , and with a free spirited mindset I doubt I will ever become a successful one. Having said that, it seems logical to me that too much planned behavior (as a parent) is just as bad as complete adolescent freedom. The former will eventually shape a sheep like character while the second could make for a classic "it's the parents fault" headline in the local news.

I'd say however you do it, actually put on an effort, and for the love of god don't turn parenting into a fucking 5 minute video on how to potty train a pet, too much direction is just as retarded, as the "how to be a parent" books. It's never that easy

Do what you feel is in the best interest of your child's development

[+JuggerNaut+]

GH, your friends are morons.

[Therac-25]

What are your parenting techniques in the fist year of raising a child? How did it work for you?

My wife insists on keeping the youngest (nearly 2) in the bed. She's still breastfeeding (she breastfed our oldest until he was 2), and it's easier on her to keep the child next to her.

I think it's a stupid idea, and it's made her chronically tired, and pretty much killed any privacy in our bedroom.

(We don't agree).

[Tsakali]

it's ok , he prolly thinks you're just hurting her.

[Scourge]

I don't have any, but I don't see anything wrong with letting your child sleep in your bed instead of a cage. Everybody asks 'what would jesus do' but i always ask 'what would ancient caveman do' and they would let the baby sleep on their saber tooth tiger pilt with them.
When my brother was old enough to sleep in a bed, he would still walk over to the parents room and sleep with them, it's not a big deal really. GET BACK IN YOUR BED, THIS GUY ON THE INTERNET MESSAGED ME AND SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO STAY IN YOUR BED GOD DAMMIT

That will 'possibly' lead to kids always wanting to sleep with parents all the time which is not a good thing at all. I've seen it many times. Not good. Maybe your brother was lucky and didn't suffer any ill effects. The possiblity is there. And more times than not the undesirable result will happen.

[Scourge]

What are your parenting techniques in the fist year of raising a child? How did it work for you?

My wife insists on keeping the youngest (nearly 2) in the bed. She's still breastfeeding (she breastfed our oldest until he was 2), and it's easier on her to keep the child next to her.

I think it's a stupid idea, and it's made her chronically tired, and pretty much killed any privacy in our bedroom.

(We don't agree).

Good god, breastfed until 2? That is just fucking ridiculous. They should be off the bottle by then.

[Peenyuh]

*org post*

Sounds to me like you are doing just fine. The ability to ignore moronic advice is strong in you , young jedi. (wow, FF3 says I spelled jedi wrong). The only thing a new parent has to know is to look around at the children of the people you know. Do you want yer kids to turn out like that? If not, don't follow that plan. I did things on a common-sense type deal, and my kids have turned out a whole lot better than either of their parents. At least they don't hang around on internet forums...

...and usually keep the baby in that at night in our room for the first couple months.

USUALLY?! STOP BREEDING! NOW!!

[Giraffe }{unter]

:olo I think it comes down to they are just jellus...

Don't get me wrong I'm not criticizing those who have their baby sleep with them. If that's what works for you go for it just don't force it on me. I don't believe in that since my sister slept with my parents pretty much every night for about 7 or 8 years.

I have a great deal of respect for my wife sticking to the program of keeping the baby in her crib every night and getting up to feed her every 3 hours (boob feeding). I would take the late night and she would take over once I went to sleep. After the first 8 weeks life returned to normal, I can't imagine life without my little one now. The schedule really seems to have shaped her into a calm and happy baby. We can go out to eat, shopping, visit friends and enjoy life with the baby knowing exactly what she needs and when and not disturbing people with a screaming baby.

It just burns me when people criticize, it's almost like they are trolling and my wife is very nice and quiet so she takes it in and then talks to me about it afterwards. I can see it bugs her a bit.

I'm curious how this will pan out and if it's luck as people say or just simply following the Babywise book?

[Fender]

Not to sound redundant... but if it is working... then it works. Once I quit trying to figure out my kids, especially as infants, I was much happier. If you analyze every little thing, you'll go crazy. Keep doing what you're doing. It sounds like you've made the right decisions for your family. Everybody's different and different things work for different kids, even with the same parents. Relax, spend time with them and they'll probably turn out fine.

[Underpants?]

your friends are admitted pedophiles. You should reexamine your taste in company.

[Tormentius]

Sounds like you're doing fine GH. My own kids slept in a bassinet in the room for the first couple of months each but that is by no means the "right" or "only" way and it seems moronic that other parents you know are being so pushy with their styles. The fact your little one is already sleeping and eating well on a schedule should tell you that you're doing something right.

[Tsakali]

your friends are admitted pedophiles. You should reexamine your taste in company.

honestly, friendships in that age are not important... at best they are trivial and only meant to fill in the social gaps of a couple...in this case a starting family as it may be.

Getting new friends at this point will probably consist of a lot of disappointment and ultimately an alternative agenda other than pure friendship. For instance, they might make some work friends...not always but most of the time

[andyman]

your friends are admitted pedophiles. You should reexamine your taste in company.

Getting new friends at this point will probably consist of a lot of disappointment and ultimately an alternative agenda other than pure friendship. For instance, they might make some work friends...not always but most of the time

or the 'hey what are you doing tomorrow cuz im moving so ... ya know...' friends

[Giraffe }{unter]

I know we are doing well, I was more going on about the fact that people are pushing their beliefs and criticizing the way we are doing things. I just find it funny and somewhat annoying.

Our friends came over for dinner and they have a 1 year old who sleeps with them. The women were upstairs as my wife put our little one down for bed. She was awake, but it was bedtime, so my wife lays her down and places the pacifier in her mouth and leaves the room. She will sit and coo until she falls asleep and on nights when she is overtired she will cry a little if the paci falls out.

The one mother says oh we would never use a pacifier it's not good for them they get addicted... Meanwhile her kid has been running around for 3 hours with a bottle in his mouth and has already downed over 36oz of milk :olo;

[surgeon62]

... Everybody's different and different things work for different kids, even with the same parents...

There it is...

Any friends advising you that fail to acknowledge the above point should have a humongous grain of salt attached to their opinions.

[Underpants?]

ok, serious opinion: anyone who offers unsolicited advice is a fucking self-righteous dill hole. But especially anyone who offers unsolicited parenting advice.
parenting is, let's face it, the most important thing most of the cluckers on this forum will never get to experience in this ephemeral, shallow western existence. If you have to contrast with someone else's style to make you feel like you're doing it well, then you have no internal compass and you're probably going to fuck it up and raise a serial killer homosexual like case dogg.