Jehova's Witnesses

[tnf]

Just had one at the door. I was less than congenial with him - normally I am really polite, but today I was irritated for some reason the instant he opened his book and started to quote scripture.

Do you have a particular routine you follow for dealing with Jehova's (or Mormons) at the door? Jehova's tend to be more aggressive from what I've experienced.

[lars63]

I say no thank you and quickly shut the door.

[Scourge]

I don't answer the door.

[GONNAFISTYA]

I friend of mine's father has a direct way of handling Jehovah's Witnesses:

- opens the door
- at the top of his lungs screams "GO TO HELL!"
- farts
- closes the door

No b.s......I've seen him do it twice.

[4days]

usually go with 'less than congenial' unless there's a lack of confidence in their eyes, then i invite them in for tea.

sort of on-topic so it doesn't get it's own thread:
had an odd one at work today when we got coldcalled by a PR broker wondering if we would consider switching marketing agencies. i was confused by the job description and the lass clumsily explained that her job was to create tailored relationships between companies and PR/marketing agencies, then she waited patiently while i gave a reasonably colourful assessment of the nature of her business that she'd clearly heard several times before.

it was in mid-bluster that i realised what she was doing could well be genius - selling marketing to marketers and PR people is a brilliant idea. i know from the ridiculous web sites and services they ask for that they can be phenomenally stupid and that they're obsessed with outsourcing. concentrating on the ones that can't even market themselves must be like lions targeting the children when they chase a herd of bison. wanted to know if she had an office or if she was just running things from home, what kind of overheads did her brand of parasitism incur? when she'd worked out some decent patter, was she going to consider outsourcing the horrible business of marketing marketers to some pleb in a call centre?

no, she worked in a call centre. we left it there.

[plained]

ucking ell u r awesome ey 4days!

i dont know if i get all the details in there but it'llprolly kick in in increments after my ol slomo brain chugs away on it lo0l!

[7zark7]

I never open the door when someone rings the door bell. I just stand by the door and shout " WHO IS IT?" Then shout WHAT? to what ever they say. They usually leave after a few minutes. I think its funny.

[mik0rs]

I said hi, took the copy of Watchtower and promptly didn't read it later. It was a couple of older ladies that knocked, there was no need to be rude that time.

WRT becoming a Jovie, no thanks... if my heart or liver goes tits up then I'll be first in the line for some free blood and car-crash offal.

[YourGrandpa]

I just open the door and say no thank you.

[GONNAFISTYA]

Come on gwamps....we all know you're dying to scare em with that shot gun of yours.

[seremtan]

we don't get religious types around our way, just people from charities. i signed up for a paltry monthly donation to the air ambo and they sent me a multi-coloured pen and a load of raffle tickets

[YourGrandpa]

Come on gwamps....we all know you're dying to scare em with that shot gun of yours.

That would earn me a free trip to jail.

No thanks.

[Transient]

I just tell them I'm an Atheist and they go away. So far none of the ones around here have tried to press the matter.

[EtUL]

I always see the fellas strolling around town but they've never stopped by when i was home.

I think it'd be an interesting conversation if you got a few who were semi-intelligent and didn't mind killing some time with someone who wasn't going to convert. From what I hear tho they're all about numbers and don't like to waste their time (lol).

[Fender]

yeah, JW are all about numbers
only 144,000 people are going to heaven or some such shit
dunno why they recruit if that's the case, why would you want competition?
or maybe the top 144,000 sales people get in to heaven?

just another slightly more stupid version of christianity...

[Transient]

yeah, JW are all about numbers
only 144,000 people are going to heaven or some such shit
dunno why they recruit if that's the case, why would you want competition?
or maybe the top 144,000 sales people get in to heaven?

just another slightly more stupid version of christianity...

Not quite. Jehova's Witnesses believe that when one dies, their soul ends, but if one accepts salvation, Jehova will resurrect them to live on Earth again. A select few special souls exist, those of kings and other rulers, which were chosen by Jehova before the Earth was created to be allowed into Heaven once the resurrection occurs. IIRC the resurrection is an event which happens at the second coming of Jesus, wherein Jehova resurrects all of the believers' souls onto an eternal Heaven on Earth and then takes the 144,000 "special" souls to the true Heaven. Nonbelievers go to Hell.

[ajerara]

yeah, and they get cast into the lake of fire.

[U4EA]

Try to convert them to Islam (only did that once though). Normally I just say "not interested, thanks" and make a hasty getaway.

[Whiskey 7]

I just open the door and say no thank you.

That's me to a "T"

They haven't called for such a long time I guess I'm due

Hey U4EA Haven't seen you 'bout?

[Ryoki]

Don't get a lot of those around here, luckily enough.

Only once did it happen, some awful nerd who knocked on my door with a cute 6 year old lass at his side to soften folks up. Naturally i immediately attacked him on bringing his daughter to work, which i said was a cheap and foul trick and that little girls shouldn't have to worry about imaginary things like brimstone and hellfire. The conversation turned ugly quite fast... he got very defensive and repeatedly assured me she went along because she wanted to save people, not because she had to - which i refused to believe.

She turned out to be his little sister btw and when she saw me arguing with brother she gave me the 'are you this satan man i've heard so much about' look, go figure.

[Underpants?]

I saw two of J-Dub's finest youths ripping along the bike lane here about a week ago (who else wears dark dress slacks, crisp white shirts and ties while riding cheap mountain bikes? Maybe Mormons?). The younger one (he looked to be less than 17 by my clock) was holding a slurpee when the front wheel stuttered over a few bumps in the pavement, lending a one-handed and off balance over-correction into the oncoming curb at possibly close to 25 MPH. The initial crash was stupidly comical, but the reaction stoic, with this dude smiling and bloody, favoring an apparently fairly wrecked hand while waving stopping cars past with the other. There was a certain timeless strength in him sitting there, stripped already of possession and pride but now also, humility but apparently suffering no angsty malice from it. Sending out your best and most trusted to commit the front-line assault seems to bear an inverse but striking likeness to martyred terrorism, singular in purpose and focus and perhaps not so short-sighted in implicit "splash damage."

[plained]

holy mackerals ur awesome!~

more time-release mind rustleing!

[Grandpa Stu]

i've never had a jehova's witness or mormon knocking at the door. even charity folks are quite rare. girl scouts or more common than anything else.

i did have a run in with the mail man once. back in 2003 when all the "support our troops" pro american BS was saturating the US the mail dude rang the doorbell to drop off a package...except rather than leaving it on the step he stood there holding it like a hostage. upon opening the door the first thing he noticed was my haircut which had just been clipped extremely short. "you a military boy, son?" i then had to dance around this guys questions about the war and why i wasn't in the war that i should enlist to support my country and that going to college was a waste of time compared to the glory of fighting in iraq. as much as i wanted to tell him to screw off i didn't dare, the asshole delivers my mail. the last thing i wanted to do was piss him off i finally got my package when i agreed to "look into" enlisting.

[Grudge]

When I was studying the Jehovas came to the dorm once and again. The last time I spoke with them I mentioned that I was interested in philosophy, which they promptly declared being the devil's work, "twisting the minds of people", keeping them off the right path and so on. It was a bit funny and a bit sad.

[tnf]

i've never had a jehova's witness or mormon knocking at the door. even charity folks are quite rare. girl scouts or more common than anything else.

i did have a run in with the mail man once. back in 2003 when all the "support our troops" pro american BS was saturating the US the mail dude rang the doorbell to drop off a package...except rather than leaving it on the step he stood there holding it like a hostage. upon opening the door the first thing he noticed was my haircut which had just been clipped extremely short. "you a military boy, son?" i then had to dance around this guys questions about the war and why i wasn't in the war that i should enlist to support my country and that going to college was a waste of time compared to the glory of fighting in iraq. as much as i wanted to tell him to screw off i didn't dare, the asshole delivers my mail. the last thing i wanted to do was piss him off i finally got my package when i agreed to "look into" enlisting.

I wonder if you could have gotten him into some deep shit with his supervisors for that.