Movie Theories

Post by **GONNAFISTYA** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 8:17 pm

The recent spate of movie threads has made me want to dissect movies a little more...exploring such things as how and why movies were made a certain way....including why the director's cuts typically add shots and scenes that aren't in the finished movie.

Here's my movie theory on the movie Star Wars Empire Strikes Back:

When they penned the story for the second movie they had to accomodate Mark Hamill's quick and horrifiying bout of ugliness that he had gone through after A New Hope.

The man had literally aged 84 years in the short span between the ending of filming the first movie and the script reading of the second. Mark Hamill was no longer the youthful, baby-faced kid they hired on for A New Hope.

Now they had spent all this money on special effects but the budget just couldn't handle a blue screening of Mr. Hamill's face in every shot of the new movie with footage from the first movie. It was prohitively expensive back then.

So they made the snow beast maul his face straight off the bat. They first covered his face with a snow mask and made the setting extremely cold...so that it looked like Mark Hamill was whincing from the cold when uncovered his face. That was the first thing they did to help explain his ugliness. Then of course a few seconds later they instructed the snow beast to maul him so that they could put him in a tank (which again hid the ugly with refraction) when he got rescued. Then everything was neatly wrapped up in the recovery room where Luke - for the first of many times - had the urge to stick his tongue into his sister's mouth.

The "Enhanced Version".

I feel they deliberately put in more CG shots of Bespin and the like to get more content into SW: ESB without showing more shots of Mark Hamill's sudden ugly.

Post by **blood.angel** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 8:21 pm

He was in a car accident.

I wouldnt worry about ti, when they make Eps 7-9 theyll replace all the heads in 4-6 with the fuckers who'll play them.

Post by **boo** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 8:23 pm

Post by **GONNAFISTYA** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 8:35 pm

blood.angel wrote:He was in a car accident.

Was he in another car accident between Ep 5 and 6? Cause he got uglier still.

blood.angel wrote:I wouldnt worry about ti, when they make Eps 7-9 theyll replace all the heads in 4-6 with the fuckers who'll play them.

Actually at that time George will refuse to work with humans and go all CG.

Post by **Nightshade** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 10:15 pm

Will he be allowed to make movies in the looney bin? Because in light of what he's done he needs to be fucking comitted.
I can see him now, making Jedi out of his own turds and battling them with his meat saber.

Post by **GONNAFISTYA** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 11:29 pm

See the thing is the writers got back at Mark Hamill for turning ugly.

Originally Hoth was supposed to be a paradise world with beaches and hot-bitch massages. But Hamill's ugliness proved too much for the actresses slated to work with him.

So for retribution, the writers ensured Mark Hamill was punished by ending the movie with him getting flushed out the proverbal toilet of Bespin city and landing balls first (twice) onto a communications antenna.

Payback is a bitch.

Post by **redfella** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 12:01 am

Nightshade wrote:Will he be allowed to make movies in the looney bin? Because in light of what he's done he needs to be fucking comitted.

What did he do? :icon28:

Post by **Nightshade** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 12:07 am

Umm, Episodes I & II? Edited re-re-releases of IV-VI?

Post by **GONNAFISTYA** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 12:19 am

And - as crazy as he is - probably voted for Bush.

Post by **Dukester** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 1:55 am

probably not!

Post by **MKJ** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:20 am

GONNAFISTYA wrote:
blood.angel wrote:He was in a car accident.
Was he in another car accident between Ep 5 and 6? Cause he got uglier still.

blood.angel wrote:I wouldnt worry about ti, when they make Eps 7-9 theyll replace all the heads in 4-6 with the fuckers who'll play them.
Actually at that time George will refuse to work with humans and go all CG.

mark hamill once said that if "george lucas could just do his movies without the use of actors, he would" :icon19:

i have to say btw - blasphemy as it may sound - the dvd version of the movies are very acceptable. they're not the 1997 special editions where the cg wasnt quite good enough yet to make it look good - they are actually done nicely. jabba the hutt in A New Hope actually looks like he's there.

although the ending of ROTJ was very much not needed :S

Post by **Pext** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 9:27 am

what's the ending - plz tell me because i allways liked starwars but would not bother to buy the dvds or warez0r them.

btw - lol: "him getting flushed out the proverbal toilet of Bespin city and landing balls first (twice) onto a communications antenna."

Post by **MKJ** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 9:42 am

in the dvd version they changed anakin's spirit to the hobo who plays anakin in episode3 instead of the old guy who was darth vader 10 minutes before.

oh and the emperor was changed in the dvd versions, but thats not too bad

Post by **Ryoki** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 10:42 am

I saw 'Dodgeball' last night and my theory about this movie is that it was pretty goddamn funny.

Post by **Nightshade** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 11:15 am

PATCHES O'HOOLIHAN!!!

Post by **Ryoki** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 11:19 am

Patches had me in stitches, jesus christ what a wonderful character :icon19:

Post by **Nightshade** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 11:21 am

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
*WHACK!*

:lol:

Post by **GONNAFISTYA** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 2:55 pm

"If you can dodge a car, you can dodge a ball."

Post by **Jackal** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 4:37 pm

I love the part in "A New Hope" where the stormtrooper creams his head on the top of a door.

Post by **Pext** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 7:18 pm

i read it was acidently

Post by **Jackal** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 7:26 pm

no? do you think?
I thought it added great insight into why the emperor had taken on the sith ideology and how his ideals reflected on the working conditions within the deathstar.

Post by **MKJ** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:01 pm

Jackal wrote:no? do you think?
I thought it added great insight into why the emperor had taken on the sith ideology and how his ideals reflected on the working conditions within the deathstar.

:icon19:

Post by **GONNAFISTYA** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:14 pm

Speaking of working conditions....catwalks crossing eleventy billion story dropoffs with no hand rails.

Not even a single "Warning: Falling to death will kill you" sign posted in the Death Star.