North Korean Jokes

[feedback]

My friend posted these on facebook. Not so much funny, but dark. I wonder if my North Korean student has heard any.

- Chinese, Russian, Japanese, American, and North Korean police officers gather and decide to assess their investigative capacity.

Under the watchful eye of their supervisors, each team gets a mouse, then lets it loose, and the mouse runs up a big mountain.

The winning team is the one that manages to catch and bring back the mouse in the shortest time.

The Chinese police employ human wave tactics, combing every square inch on the mountain in their thousands.

They capture and return the mouse after only one day's search.

The Japanese policemen use a smell detector, and after only half a day, they detect the mouse hole, search it, catch the mouse and bring it back.

The Russian cops send a robot equipped with a heat-seeking device up the mountain.

The robot locates all the mammals on the mountain and after only three hours the Russians capture and bring back the mouse.

The only ones left now are the American and North Korean police officers.

The Americans use a satellite signal device to locate the mouse, and then send in a mechanical gadget that looks like a snake gliding up the mountain.

The gadget gets into the mouse hole, catches the mouse and brings it back after only one hour.

The North Koreans are last.

Although the supervisors are watching, none of them makes a move, there is no brainstorming, and no one comes up with a plan of action, nothing at all.

After only about 10 minutes, a few North Korean police officers show up dragging a dog before the supervisors, saying they've found the mouse.

All the supervisors are puzzled: "What are you doing? It is not a dog you were supposed to catch! Weren't you supposed to catch a mouse?"

Instead of answering, the North Korean cops drag the dog through the dirt and repeatedly kick it in the ribs.

The sobbing dog suddenly starts to talk: "Stop, stop, please stop! Yes, I confess, I'm a mouse! I'm a mouse, please concede that I'm a mouse, or else they're going to kill me!"

http://tvnz.co.nz/world-news/ever-heard ... ke-3459547

[Eraser]

Is that really a joke North Koreans are telling each other? I mean, isn't there a death penalty or something for telling such jokes there?

[Eraser]

lol?

Chang Man Yong works on a collective farm in North Korea. He goes fishing, gets lucky, and brings a fish home. Happy about his catch, he tells his wife: "Look what I've got. Shall we eat fried fish today?"

The wife says: "We've got no cooking oil!"

"Shall we stew it, then?"

"We've got no pot!"

"Shall we grill it?"

"We've got no firewood!"

Chang Man Yong gets angry, goes back to the river, and throws the fish back into the water.

The fish, happy to have had such a narrow escape, sticks its head out of the water and cheerfully yells: "Long live General Kim Jong Il!"

[GONNAFISTYA]

lol feedbag and his blatant racism and hatred for anything "slope" on display.

[xer0s]

And I don't get it (not the joke, feedback's racism). He's been living in Asia for years. If you hate the people so much, why stay?

[Eraser]

Maybe you've got the causality reversed...

[xer0s]

Maybe so. But my question still stands...

[Tsakali]

lots of cheap underage boy sex?

it's a love/hate relationship

[scared?]

The only reason Douglas lives in china is becuz it makes him feel tall...what a dipshit!...

[feedback]

lol feedbag and his blatant racism and hatred for anything "slope" on display.

Maybe I just hate fat white faggots with an inferiority complex?

[feedback]

Maybe so. But my question still stands...

Your question doesn't stand- I hate most everyone by default, and with good reason. I hate Americans, Russians, Italians, Chinese, Algerians, Nigerians, Egyptians, Turkish, Pakistanis, Ukranians, Australians, British people, the list goes on. That doesn't mean I won't be friends with them, just in general you can assume a lot about someone by what country they're from. The more you travel the more you realize that people from certain places are mostly scummy. I don't really hate Koreans, they're okay as long as they're not in tour groups. I like Hongkongnese and Taiwanese people. Chinese tourists aside, there's a lot of reasons why Hong Kong has been voted one of the best places to live year after year: http://www.economist.com/blogs/gulliver ... y-rankings

[U4EA]

Best place to live if you enjoy living in a smelly shithole.

[feedback]

alroight then, don't move here

[losCHUNK]

Maybe so. But my question still stands...

Your question doesn't stand- I hate most everyone by default, and with good reason. I hate Americans, Russians, Italians, Chinese, Algerians, Nigerians, Egyptians, Turkish, Pakistanis, Ukranians, Australians, British people, the list goes on. That doesn't mean I won't be friends with them, just in general you can assume a lot about someone by what country they're from. The more you travel the more you realize that people from certain places are mostly scummy.

It's only natural to dislike or appreciate other cultures and the people within them, doesn't mean you can't differentiate between individuals

[feedback]

People from Wales are the salt of the earth

[GONNAFISTYA]

lol feedbag and his blatant racism and hatred for anything "slope" on display.

Maybe I just hate fat white faggots with an inferiority complex?

If that made any sense I'd know whether or not to be offended.

[LawL]

I think he's saying you're a fat white faggot with an inferiority complex. Not sure though.

[Whiskey 7]

Got to go back to view to that Vice Guide to North Korea. Scary stuff as I remember..

here

[GONNAFISTYA]

I think he's saying you're a fat white faggot with an inferiority complex. Not sure though.

Yeah but...I thought he was talking about his hated for Koreans? Wtf does that have to do with fat white ppl?

I realize you wanna cornhole him in a sweaty bath house, but if you're gonna white knight you might as well do it for a post that is coherent. I mean...the internet's watching.

[LawL]

It was coherent, so I just pointed out what he was saying after you said it didn't make sense. Now you seem upset about it.

[feedback]

Seemed pretty straightforward to me... don't be assed about.

[bitWISE]

This is just a drawn out version of an American racist joke about colored people. I can't find it at work but I think they beat a black guy until he confesses to being the white suspect they were searching for.

[andyman]

This is just a drawn out version of an American racist joke about colored people. I can't find it at work but I think they beat a black guy until he confesses to being the white suspect they were searching for.

wait... so the dog was black?

[seremtan]

i think it's almost certain that, due to their isolation and the inherent absurdity of their situation, North Koreans have a rich oral tradition of political satire we don't know about

also, Douglas Black is a cunt

[scared?]

i fuck men...