Quake3World

werldhed wrote:

shaft wrote: Exactly. I almost always take a shower before sex, and the wife does as well. Especially since she's coming home from the hospital...

Yea but at least you're cleaning yourself in the shower - apparently some people don't like to touch their buttholes even in the shower.

[xeno]Julios wrote:

werldhed wrote:

Yea but at least you're cleaning yourself in the shower - apparently some people don't like to touch their buttholes even in the shower.

Now see, that's just wrong.

werldhed wrote:

shaft wrote:LOL at jules thinking everyone goes straight from taking a shit to oral/69.

Exactly. I almost always take a shower before sex, and the wife does as wel

I think any normal person does. Especially if oral sex is involved.

shaft wrote:LOL at jules thinking everyone goes straight from taking a shit to oral/69.

seriously... did you never have to take a dump just right before sex?

Tsakali wrote:
in greece (and I'm suspecting in most european countries) in a proper 'full bathroom' they have what you call a bidet:

I saw one when i was a kid, and i nearly pissed in it coz i thought it was a toilet. also, about the showerhead-up-ass type approach, its called a douche! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doosh

i don't stick the showerhead up my ass man.

I fire my turds so fast outta my ass that they don't even touch the sides.

So you're saying your sphincter is abnormally distended?

Or maybe it's stretched out from all the cocks that pound him daily.

lol@foo

Pext wrote:

shaft wrote:LOL at jules thinking everyone goes straight from taking a shit to oral/69.

seriously... did you never have to take a dump just right before sex?

no..u?

shaft wrote:

werldhed wrote:Exactly. I almost always take a shower before sex, and the wife does as wel

I think any normal person does. Especially if oral sex is involved.

I like spur of the moment sex regardless of where or when. If we feel like going at it, were going to go at it. Fecal matter should be the last thing on anyone's mind.

-Bean

LBt1st wrote:Fecal matter should be the last thing on anyone's mind.

-Bean

and face.

Shit.

Shower.

Clean ass.

Done.

[xeno]Julios wrote:my shower hose is long enough to extend to my toilet, so after taking a dump, I'll turn on the warm water, and point it up at my ass and clean the area thoroughly with the pad of my index finger. Then I'll soap up my hand, and repeat. Then I wash my hands very well. Also helps to have trimmed finger nails so nothing gets stuck behind them. But with careful technique this isn't an issue.

My bowel movements are pretty good so there's not much mess there to begin with, but if there is you can always use toilet paper as a starter.

If you master the technique, you really don't get much direct exposure to fecal matter with your finger, as there's always a layer of water between finger and anus.

Stretching open the area with the thumb and other fingers is also key to exposing the most amount of anal surface area for cleaning.

I basically have a clean asshole 24/7 which is quite nice.

If there is no shower hose that you can use, you can do a good job squatting under the bath tap and letting the water run down from the back.

That's the most god-awful thing I ever heard.

Foo wrote:

love it

ajerara wrote: That's the most god-awful thing I ever heard.

and just in case you think I'm ignoring number one, read this:

http://www.quake3world.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3806

I sent this post to my anthropology prof a few years ago because of something he said about men liking to stand up when they pee.

Captain Mazda wrote:Or maybe it's stretched out from all the cocks that pound him daily.

Well I wouldn't know about that, but you sound like someone with a lot of experience in male ass pounding.

[xeno]Julios wrote:my shower hose is long enough to extend to my toilet, so after taking a dump, I'll turn on the warm water, and point it up at my ass and clean the area thoroughly with the pad of my index finger. Then I'll soap up my hand, and repeat. Then I wash my hands very well. Also helps to have trimmed finger nails so nothing gets stuck behind them. But with careful technique this isn't an issue.

My bowel movements are pretty good so there's not much mess there to begin with, but if there is you can always use toilet paper as a starter.

If you master the technique, you really don't get much direct exposure to fecal matter with your finger, as there's always a layer of water between finger and anus.

Stretching open the area with the thumb and other fingers is also key to exposing the most amount of anal surface area for cleaning.

I basically have a clean asshole 24/7 which is quite nice.

If there is no shower hose that you can use, you can do a good job squatting under the bath tap and letting the water run down from the back.

You have GOT to be gay!!

Jules -- serious question:

I took a dump at work today and the unpleasantness of the single-ply cardboard toilet paper reminded me of your technique, and it got me to wondering:
what do you do when you're in a public restroom and don't have access to a sink/bidet/shower?
Do you suck it up and use the paper?


also: at foo

werldhed wrote:Jules -- serious question:

I took a dump at work today and the unpleasantness of the single-ply cardboard toilet paper reminded me of your technique, and it got me to wondering:
what do you do when you're in a public restroom and don't have access to a sink/bidet/shower?
Do you suck it up and use the paper?

I've developed a system over the last couple years that is fairly effective.

Here is the general protocol:

1) After taking your dump, prepare a large wad of toilet paper.
2) Flush, and dip the wad into the fresh stream.
3) Scrub butt with wet paper
4) Wipe a couple times with dry paper
5) Repeat steps 3 and 4 until clean

Now there are a few things you can do to save water and maintain good toilet hygiene:

Don't put the used toilet paper back in the toilet. Instead, place it carefully on the toilet seat but with the dirty side facing up, so that you doesn't spread germs on the seat. This allows you to dip a fresh wad of toilet paper into a toilet bowl full of clean water, rather than having to flush each time.

When you're done, and you put the wads of paper into the toilet, be careful: since they are heavy and dense with water they can easily splash when you drop them in. Lower them in gently by either grasping them by a clean corner and softly setting them into the bowl, or by using a fresh piece of paper as a "glove".

Another technique I have thought about but haven't experimented with much is to bring in a bottle of water and use it to simulate a stream of water running down the back.

wtf?!?!

what a fucking knob head

the simple solution:

mancubus wrote:

[xeno]Julios wrote:my shower hose is long enough to extend to my toilet,

You have GOT to be gay!!

Sorry man, wishing won't make it so..

Also: Julios, you dip paper in public toilets and then apply it to your arse? You have your priorities seriously screwed.