Confucius said…

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 12:45 am

Wise is the man who will keep all his receipts while doing his Christmas shopping for his loved ones to have them exchange.

If you are inviting guests with all of your treats, make sure to do them ahead but not by too much, since you don’t want to see your guests running after them once they defrost.

If you are thinking cooking a 15 pounds turkey, don’t wait till 4PM to take it out of the freezer for the Christmas’s evening dinner, unless it is meant to be served only for the New Year’s Eve.

If you, and I sure you will have, leftover turkey during the Christmas season, don’t waste it. If you are fed up with eating it, send it to the poor who will cherish it.
Pete

Post by **CokeMachineGlow** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 1:18 am

Confucius said:

“In language, it is best to be clear and say just enough to convey the meaning.”

Post by **glossy** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:20 am

Confucius said, Sometimes you have to keep it simple!

Post by **Scarface** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:22 am

Confucius say, man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Post by **Canidae** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:27 am

Confucius say...nothing because he is dead.

Post by **seremtan** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:36 pm

confucius mime... a man looking over the great wall

Post by ek » Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:38 pm

pete, good kid. tries hard.

Post by **Foo** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:34 pm

Confucius say...man with cock in peanut butter is fucking nuts

Post by **R00k** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:39 pm

Then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:51 pm

If you plan on feeding the pigeons or the seagulls, make sure to bring your umbrella or at least to wear an old hat.

Post by **Kills On Site** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:11 pm

Confucius says never play leapfrog with a unicorn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:21 pm

Kills On Site wrote:Confucius says never play leapfrog with a unicorn

Nor ride your bicycle without a seat on a distressed road

Post by **MidnightQ4** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:56 pm

he who pees into the wind takes golden shower

Post by **Chupacabra** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:58 pm

he who goes to sleep with itchy butt, wakes up with smelly fingers.

Post by **MidnightQ4** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:06 am

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Man who lives in glass house should change in basement

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.
Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honourable discharge.
Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Man who run in front of car, get tired
Man who run behind car, get exhausted
Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who sleep in cat house by day, sleep in doghouse by night.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out
It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who sit on tack get point
He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts.
Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:29 am

When you change hour time, change your alarm’s smoke detector battery, change the baking soda box in your fridge and may be take a shower and change your socks.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:31 am

wtf is this, pete's guide to life?

Post by **Chupacabra** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:33 am

thats a good one pete

Post by **morf** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 1:37 am

MidnightQ4 wrote:Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Man who lives in glass house should change in basement

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.
Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honourable discharge.
Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Man who run in front of car, get tired
Man who run behind car, get exhausted
Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who sleep in cat house by day, sleep in doghouse by night.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out
It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who sit on tack get point
He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts.
Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.

nice one dip shit, by being cocky and looking sayings up on google, you've ruined the chance to let everyone else say them.

Post by **MidnightQ4** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:22 am

:P you're welcome

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:24 am

If your steak is as hard as a boot sole, don’t ever complain, since you still have something to eat, just put some sauce on it, even Ketchup that didn't existed in my time but...You know.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:49 am

Don’t drink and drive... You could spill your beer

Post by **mjrpes** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:50 am

Confucius Say
Some Sex Is Good...More Is Better...Too Much Is Just About Right

Post by **shadd_** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:51 am

women

Post by **mjrpes** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:51 am

Confucius Say
Man with five dicks will have pants that fit like a glove.