Shaft....

[obsidian]

...sent a big black dildo to his wife and mom. True story.

[HM-PuFFNSTuFF]

true

[MKJ]

Confirmed

[shaft]

got me

[GONNAFISTYA]

Er....just to be clear...it was his wife's mom, right? I mean...who the hell would buy there own mother a dildo?

Oh wait...I did that...

[obsidian]

Nope, shaft's mom.

This exact one, to be specific:

[shaft]

Obsidian was kind enough to photoshop a different countertop into a kitchen photo I had. I missed the dildo he put on the counter before I forwarded the picture.

[obsidian]

[02:10 PM] <shaft> anyone here have photoshop installed?
[02:20 PM] <shaft>

[02:20 PM] <shaft> would that look good with dark countertop on island?
[02:21 PM] <shaft>

[02:21 PM] <shaft> like that?
[02:25 PM] <shaft> im doing dark cabinets like that with light surround counter...need to do somthing differnt with island
...
[03:14 PM] <Obsidian>

[03:14 PM] <Obsidian> there you go shaft
[03:15 PM] <shaft> lol cmon
[03:15 PM] <shaft> i cant show that to my wife now
[03:15 PM] <Obsidian> don't you like your new salt and pepper shaker
[03:15 PM] <Obsidian> ?
[03:15 PM] <shaft> that looks slightly better than mine though...thanks
[03:16 PM] <shaft> yeah, i do
...
[11:30 AM] <shaft> Obsidian
[11:31 AM] <shaft> you bastard
[11:31 AM] <Obsidian> whut I do?
[11:31 AM] <shaft> i send that picture of the coutertop to my mom and wife
[11:31 AM] <shaft> i shopped out the woman
[11:31 AM] <shaft> but missed the giant dildo
[11:31 AM] <Obsidian> hahahahaha
[11:31 AM] <Obsidian> that was the salt and pepper shaker
[11:32 AM] <shaft> my mother hasnt called me since
[11:32 AM] <Obsidian> you said you liked it
[11:32 AM] <shaft> i didnt see it
[11:32 AM] <Obsidian> but I asked you...
[11:32 AM] <shaft> good thing it sorta looks like a cordless phone
[11:33 AM] <shaft> i didnt know what you mean by salt n peppa
[11:33 AM] <Obsidian> (no it doesn't)
[11:33 AM] <shaft> thought you were talking about the woman
[11:34 AM] <Obsidian> yeah, cuz all you have to do is squeeze one of those mammaries and salt or pepper comes out
[11:34 AM] <Obsidian> that makes sense
...
[11:37 AM] <shaft> it looks like a black cordless phone sitting in a stand
[11:37 AM] <shaft> thats my story
[11:37 AM] <Obsidian> (no it doesn't)
[11:38 AM] <shaft>

[11:38 AM] <shaft> thats wht i sent
[11:39 AM] <shaft> oh..its cut off a bit in mine
[11:39 AM] <shaft> more pointy
[11:39 AM] <EmkaJee> rofl
[11:39 AM] <shaft> i just pasted in a box from original image to cover up woman
[11:40 AM] <EmkaJee> that does look a lot like mommy's best friend
[11:40 AM] <Obsidian> big and black
[11:41 AM] <EmkaJee> just like she likes her coffee
[11:41 AM] <Obsidian> mommy calls it "obsidian"

[Doombrain]

fucking lol

[scared?]

Is that ur house? Holy cookie cutter piece of shit batman!...

[shaft]

no dipshit its a picture from the internet..

[scared?]

That's good...otherwise u r a total moron...

[Captain]

lol, not bad.

[Eraser]

Oh shi-

[shaft]

That's good...otherwise u r a total moron...

listen up chump..the 40dB dishwasher I just bought would blow your mind...maybe someday you can afford nice things like me..

[Doombrain]

my wife's much louder.

[GONNAFISTYA]

Only when I'm plowin her...

[Scourge]

Anybody would scream with that much weight on top of them.

[GONNAFISTYA]

Anybody would scream with that much awesomeness inside of them.

FTFY

[Scourge]

It was correct the first time.

[GONNAFISTYA]

Don't cry that people's moms like fucking me more than you. I'm sure you'll get some hot mama one day...sometime after you take the squirrel out of your mullet and last week's possum stew out of your moustache.

[scared?]

listen up chump..the 40dB dishwasher I just bought would blow your mind...maybe someday you can afford nice things like me

We have a 7 month old Bosch dishwasher...I think it cost $2,000....POORON!...

[LawL]

^^^lol poor ppl...

[shaft]

listen up chump..the 40dB dishwasher I just bought would blow your mind...maybe someday you can afford nice things like me

We have a 7 month old Bosch dishwasher...I think it cost $2,000....POORON!...

I looked at the best one Bosch makes, mine is better.

[Ryoki]