UK people

[losCHUNK]

your town on this site ?

http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=Search

i was chuckling whilst reading

Newport

_POSTEDON Friday, April 08 @ 17:24:25 BST by bunnygirl
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Wales bunnygirl _WRITES "Bettws. It's a bit hard to describe where the chavs hang out cos the place is riddled.

Being from Caerphilly I'm used to seeing chavs and pikeys but Bettws really took the biscuit for me.
I was doing some youth work in Newport and Bettws was one of the places I visited.
I helped run some youth clubs and organise activites for the upcoming carnival. The child-chavs I can handle. They don't know any better and they might one day grow out of it.
My first inkling of the chavviness of the place was stepping into Newport's bus station. Grim is not the word. I've never been so scared for my life.
Off I went on a journey to Bettws itself. It lies about 10-15 minutes from Newport and is basically a council estate the size of which I never in my darkest nightmares imagined. The built-in CCTV camera on the bus didn't help my foreboding and neither did the two-tone green Nova we passed.

The one youth club wasn't too bad apart from the alarming regularity that a child would arrive shrieking that Charmaine/Jordan/Brittany's brother had been arrested 'for the same thing as last time'.

I arrived at the youth centre to booming music, a dozen or so kids (between the ages of 3-14!!) and a 'youth leader' (I use the term losely) who looked and moved like Jabba the Hut. This bloke had no qualifications in youth work and not even a criminal record check from what I could gather. He swore at the kids (for swearing), would go into great detail about his female conquests with the 14 year old girls and proudly declare how he used to drink 20 cans of coke a day.
There was another poor soul I shall name D. who took to hiding in cupboards to get away from the sheer hell of it.

I blocked most of the experience out but I think the highlight of my time there was when I was asked out by a junior youth leader. As far as I can tell you get to the exalted position by not swearing or taking as much crack as the other kids.

Anyhoo, I was there toiling away on some project or another when said youth sidled up to me and said I was working really hard, deserved a rest and said when the project was over we would have to go for a drink. I brushed him off as gently as possible with vague muttering and left the room, thinking that was the end of it.

I returned to find a little post-it note with the words 'My number and 07*** *** ***' on it. But it was not just any post-it note, oh no. It was a sexual health helpline post-it note! I took it a sign from God that I shouldn't touch him with a bargepole. As if the baseball cap hadn't done that already.

druss_40 _WRITES "Can easily be discribed as the place that God missed when he created the world. The main city centre is a mess of clothes shops that seem to continually be closing and re-opening a few days later with another name. Thus providing the chavs with all the fake "gear" that they blow their giros on.
In between the numerous clothing shops are the many chav eating places, and the chavs dont need to even look for the McSlurry signs- they can mearly follow the trails of disgarded cartons back to source.
After a busy day the chavs then decend in the million to the pubs. The chavs with pretentions tend to hang out in a bar called NP20. The others in one of the numerous pubs that have the essential chav life support of pool table and Sky Sports playing the "footie".
Later its outside for a ruck or to throw up much to the other chavs amusement. Then up to the clubs that thankfully are all in one area, that the non chav residents avoid like the plague, a place called Stow Hill. Although in recent years other pubs have started to cash in on the chavs and been granted later opening, and so you can find a few chav clubs in other parts of the town centre now.
A wander past many of the pubs on an evening will let you see the chavs engaging in the sport of Karioke. (Oh the Japanese have much to answer for.)

Finally I have to mention that Newport has the dubious honour of Goldie Looking Chain. Thus making it a mecca of sorts for the valley chavs, who decend in hordes in a religious pilgrimage every alternate Friday when they have collected their fortnightly giro.

In truth a god forsaken town with no hope of ever being improved."

theres another one in there aswell somewhere

[ilumos-temp]

I live near Newhaven, it's a total fucking dump, I read somewhere it's the chav capital of the south.

[seremtan]

barton
_POSTEDON Thursday, April 07 @ 13:41:25 BST by icon_of_sin
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England, South East icon_of_sin _WRITES "entire area of oxford which is one council estate

everyone you meet here is in a large posse, the whole lot acting hard.
Of course there are exceptions to the rule but the only time you see them out doors is when they are not in barton,
Yup this is one place where the only place you can listen to iron maiden without getting beaten up is through the speakers of a car thats traveling faster than the twats can run (about 2mph).

let me give you some examples of things which have happened there.

1, my friend was with his girlfriend who lives there and in the shop some little twat started on him because he wouldnt let him go to the checkout first, when they got back to the house everything was peacfull, by the time his mum arrived to take him home 5 mins later every townie in barton was aproaching the front door. (picture all the zombies outside the mall in dawn of the dead, replace them with townies holding baseball bats and you will have some idea of what it looked like)

2, me and some mates drove through listening to iron maiden. just outside of the place we stopped and before I had even opened the door 2 chavmobiles full of chavs shouting abuse came up the hill behind us. They may not have been after us but we didnt wait to find out.

3, some bloke I met at college was telling me how some 10 year olf walked up to him and said, "ok youve pissed me off, just stand there I am going to beet you up ok".

this is one estate full of people who think they are the hardest people in oxford. in fact these are the people I talk about in my review about "wheatley", a place that used to be a nice place to live until most of the twats in barton got expelled and sent to our school."

lol, THE TRUTH

[4days]

all the towns around here are on the list (by coventry), but they've all been submitted by semi-literate nancy boys.

[brisk]

"On arrival in West Yorkshire’s Pound Shop Paradise you will be greeted by a swathe of rancid smelling, stripey topped translucent, skinned pond rats swarming the streets of Bradford like extras from Dawn of the Dead.
Bradford has often pretended to be something it can clearly never achieve, but this is something that can hardly be blamed on it’s deceptively pleasant appearance. However, what is left of the place from it’s wealthy Victorian past struggles to conceal what successive regeneration executives have yet to point out in their glossy brochures.
Bradford is awash with the kind of people documentary producers dream about. If you want entire families of sub human in bred career criminal scroats with the morals of a paedophiliac serial killer in your fly on the wall production, then a stroll through inner city Bradford will bring all your chickens home to roost.
Throw in a very well established mix of racial tension, neighbour hood feuds, gangstas, pimps, honour killings, car jackings, crack, heroin and random acts of extreme violence you have the kind of place that the rest of the world can only gape at through the bars at in shock and amazement.
Whilst other modern cities have expensive looking bars and restaurants packed with young professionals on their lunch breaks, Bradford has expensive looking bars and restaurants packed with gippos, pikeys, chavs and soaks cradling their 2 for the price of one pint of Stella and staring out at the people who dare not go in (the young professionals on their lunch breaks).
Central Bradford has some wonderful places to sit and while away some time in the art of chav spotting, but none more wonderful than outside the Young Offenders Unit below the Kirkgate Shopping Centre. If you’re not sure where it is just look out for the mountain of tab ends and discarded burger cartons – then you’ll spot the pus encrusted faces of the cheeky chavs scratching their gonads, swapping grunts and imagining their piss soaked shell suits are cutting edge fashion, whilst they wait to give their probation officer some (bum fluffed) lip.
Chavettes in Bradford are even easier to find. Look out for the flashing sparkle of a hundred weight of cheap crass bling. Look for babies with their hair on fire. (Prams make excellent ash trays in chav land.) Just listen to see how many times the word “fuck” can be compressed into a monologue that involves no beginning or end and few breaths for air in between.
Stand outside Greggs and wonder aloud as to how babies with no teeth manage to eat pasties, how people that appear to have no regular source of income (other than a giro) can afford such outrageously expensive prams to cart their lizard faced offspring around in and wonder even more how these sorry excuses for human beings don’t even realise that half of the country is laughing at them.

Or as my mate put it – “Don’t they know they look like cunts?” "

Even funier is one of the comments regarding racial tension:

Well dat first gyal 2 post a comment woz out of order - datz jus bein racist...itz not jus asianz dat do dat, itz all guyz - d only reazon y her mate apparently got hollered dat many timez by asianz iz cuz bradfordz a mixed race community with the majority being asian, white boyz do d same in white areaz - az 4 dat reply by "freddy" datz wrong azwell....im white but im muslim so no not ALL white gyal r like dat ! Im far from it!

and the follow up?

so, your appearance is white, your religion is islam and your language is jamaican.

i'm really fucking confused

lollerooteetoo

[CrinklyArse]

Blackpool
_POSTEDON Saturday, August 28 @ 14:04:27 BST by ChavhaterPhil
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ChavhaterPhil _WRITES "EVERYWHERE - WE'RE SURROUNDED AND OVER RUN WITH THE BASTARDS, they're like cockroaches, breeding succesfully despite the run down ghetto like pits of degredation they inhabit.
To find the local chav's en masse you have only to check out the prom any day of the week where you'll find them strutting their stuff attempting to intimidate passers by but failing miserably. The easiest place to discover a nest of the buggers though is any one of the many parks in suburban Blackpool after 6pm. Hordes of the spindly, baseball hatted, trouser tucking, spliff smoking little twats abound, usually on stolen mountain bikes or bmx's with the seat set at it's very lowest point. Innocent walkers beware - on they're own they'll cower in your shadow but in groups of more than two they become the bravest, most fearless fighting men to stalk the streets, liable to attack without provocation or warning and with little hesitation in using your head as a trampoline or stealing your mobile phone.

I used to work as a doorman at "Chaven and Hell" the nightclub beloved of the Ned's of Blackpool. This was a truly gratifying job as I was legally required to throw many of them out for possesion, consumption and selling of illegal substances aswell as refusing them entry for being far too "Chav" for their own good. The small village I live in just outside Blackpool is teeming with them after dark and there is dark talk in the ale houses of the locale - of vigilantism and doling out of retribution, much needed many would add!
If you visit (unwisely) Grange Park, the biggest, roughest council estate in the area you will truly find the motherload - in my opinion, this is where "Chav" was first born and where it should rightfully be destroyed. A B-52 full of napalm should do the trick or a bunker buster on the nearest dole office.
Haters of chav unite!!! Blackpool needs your help!

so true :lol:

[CrinklyArse]

oh and one more since i basically live here:

Lancaster (re-written and updated)
_POSTEDON Friday, December 03 @ 13:10:58 GMT by lucid_interval
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lucid_interval _WRITES "
The last description i wrote was when i was a bit wasted before going out, so i rewrote it, only just got round to putting it up tho

Enjoy!!


Lancaster – once a thriving city, famous for its cotton mills, and the wealth created by its georgian port. The remnance of its prosperious past can still be seen in the elegant buildings present around the central regions of the city.

Lancaster today however, presents a different picture, as the ever growing epidemic of scum now demean its reputation, and truly give it the national status of a ‘Chav Town’.

From the surrounding council estates, this pond-life spills on to the city streets, night and day, to annoy and pester law abiding citizens. Displaying their allegiance to all things common, they bear the crests of such quality brands as Kappa, Diadora, Burberry, and for the eccentric chav, Lacoste.

In the city centre, Lancaster has all the usual discount shops: Poundworld, Pound Fever, Home Bargains, Halfpriceorless, Busy Bee, etc, where all the chav families do their weekly shopping. On a normal weekday, you can’t miss all the tacky teenage single mums, caked to the teeth in cheap makeup, pushing around their monkey-like babies, just after collecting their giro + child support. Perhaps they’ll bump into a male chav, who’s just nicked a load of stuff from HMV to feed his smack habit, then end up getting jiggy in the same spot that kid no.1 was conceived (behind Kwik Save, in case you were wondering).

Lancaster also boasts not 1, but 2 Allsports, + a variety of other obligatory sport shops (JJB, Premier Sports,etc). Like we need 2 fucking Allsports!!

The focal point is the square outside HMV, and on an average day has an array of smackheads and other scum, who manage to spend the entire day congregated around the fountain really bringing the place down and making it look ugly. And what a good job they do of it. Of course this is the only job these penniless dole-scroungers do. Did I mention they sit around a fountain??? Well, you’ll never guess what. You can regularly walk into town and find that some joker has emptied a bottle of washing up liquid into the fountain, causing it to foam up and cover the place in clouds of the stuff. These fuckers never run out of ideas do they. Another place these clowns hang around is, yes you’ve guessed it, outside McDonalds, and on a busy Saturday afternoon, they can regularly be seen kicking a football around.

Lancaster attracts a large number of tourists during the summer (due to its history). God knows what they think when they see this filth parading around the streets like a bunch of fucking animals. And what’s with the swagger, and trying to look hard with your socks pulled over your cheap trackies!?… fuck off!!!

Evenings are no better, as some of the older chavs descend into town. The lads have their light coloured shirts and gelled hair. Note to bouncers: They only wear this stuff so they can get into your clubs, they’re still gonna glass someone when they get inside. The ‘women’ (I use the term lightly), are dressed in disgusting skimpy clothes that are around 4 sizes too small for them, and wear huge hooped earrings, whilst caked in fake tan. Walking down the streets on a Friday or Saturday evening, you’ll hear them screaming and shouting in the most annoying and ear piercing way as they make their way to the chav hangouts like Ruxtons and Spooners. Lancaster never gets through a weekend without at least several incidents after closing time; chavs fighting chavs, chavs attacking ‘humans’, chavs attacking the police. There is a simple solution to this problem, hang the lot of them. They could even set up the gallows round the back of the castle where they used to be.

Just across the river from the city centre, is the Ryelands Estate, which really is the arsehole of Lancaster, and home to some of the most inbred low-life dog shit on this planet. The estate gained national notoriety some years ago, after appearing on ITV’s ‘Neighbours from Hell’, due to years of the residents collective terrorism of an asian shopkeeper. Wow, you fuckers really have something to be proud about now, don’t you. Amazingly, some inhabitants of this stagnant shithole estate like to boast about where they live; “Don’t fuck with me, I come from fucking Ryelands”. Wow, that sentence only had 2 fucks in it.

And so we come to the end of the tour, please wipe your feet on the way out.

the fountain bit is just golden, but the reply is right about us students out-numbering the twatbags

[PhoeniX]

Derbyshire, home to the beautiful Peak District, Thorntons Chocolate Factory & the Crooked Spire of Chesterfield, has to be perhaps the ONLY county in Britain that has Chavs, Mobile-Wielding Single Mums & all-round neanderthal Bennys in every single part of it!

Bennys as I like to call `em, have been a staple of Derbyshire Life for as long as I can remember, only now there are more than ever. They were easy to spot even back in my teenage years at school: the boys had bowl-head hair cuts, wore their trainers instead of shoes EVERY DAY even though they knew they'd be asked to take them off by a teacher, & sparking a fag outside the gates as soon as it was 3.30pm, as a kind of "FU" to the teachers who never even noticed them going behind the gym for a crafty Lambert & Butler 3 hours earlier in the first place.

The girls would be round the boys like flies round sh... toffee. With make-up that looked like Stevie Wonder had applied it, their school blouses tied up to make it look like a white bikini, they all spoke in the EXACT same voice to each other while carefully caressing their "boyfs" puffa jackets.

Nothing seems to have changed in Derbyshire while I've got older & even more anti-Chav. Chesterfield is a perfect Benny Congregation-point, the empty market stalls are ideal for baseball-capped gobshites & their spotty girlfriends to have a sticky, sweaty adolescent snog, before walking down & hanging outside McDonalds asking passers-by "Yer got'a fag, mate?"

Unfortunately, what makes Derbysire special as a Chavcounty is that it is also the tiny villages that have been over-run by the Nova-driving set. Despite there being nothing of interest outside whatsoever, Bennys in my village will happily park their battered, no-tax disc Chavmobiles in the church car park, crack open a 3-litre bottle of Cheapo Cider & swear indiscriminatly at passers-by for a good 4 or 5 hours. At least I THINK it's swearing, people in Derbyshire villages have such deep, fast voices, it just sounds like "UGA BUGA WUGA" most of the time, but you know their having a laugh at your expense with the yellow-toothed grins on their slack-jawed faces. The most depressing thing about my village is that nearly all the Bennys are actually of adult age, they drag their snot-nosed, foul-mouthed kids from the council estate 2-up,2-down to school every morning, then wait outside the Post Office smoking spit-filled roll-ups, playing with their phones, or talking to someone in the queue who they know (EVERY Estate Agent (council tenant) in my village is related to each other in some way, you ain't seen inbreeding till youve come here)

If the place is a supposed tourist hotspot (like Matlock or Bakewell) or just a run-down shit hole (like my village, which had better remain nameless), Bennys, Kappa Slappers, Estate Agents & the suchlike will be waiting to greet you at every turn. I know this site is a bit of fun, but there is a serious message behind what I write: with the older generation of Chavs growing up & (inter)breeding, there looks like there is going to be a never-ending supply of Bennys in Derbyshire for so many years to come. It's so depressing, I'm actually moving to another country. No, seriously, I am.

Derbyshire: the birthplace of the school-bully, the fashion victim, the single mum who couldn't keep her legs closed, the strange local dialect that sounds like two caveman buggering each other, the bigoted Sun Reader, the Boy Racer... in other words: the birthplace of the Benny. You have been warned!"

Anybody who greets you as, "me duck" has got to be rather suspect...besides, Derbyshire was used to film, "The League of Gentlemen". Yes, WELL SCARY - my neighbours even resemble Edward and Tubbs. Seriously. You'll never leave.

rofl.

[losCHUNK]

loool, awesome site

[tnf]

forgive my ignorance, but what are chavs?

[CrinklyArse]

for the 5th billionth time http://www.chavworld.co.uk/chav.htm

[losCHUNK]

22/11/04 - Submitted by 'Jessica Terrington':

faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakin chavs innit!!!! i is from wisbech an it fukin chav centraaaal!! Chavs rule! u is all sayin dat we is fick and all dis but we smash yo head in innit!

:icon19: :icon19: :icon19:

[CrinklyArse]

http://www.chavworld.co.uk/jokes.htm

[CrinklyArse]

this made me laugh
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
of stairs.

[ilumos-temp]

this made me laugh
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
of stairs.

:icon19:

What's yellow and looks good on a chav?











A JCB

[CrinklyArse]

:lol: good one (nicks for sig)

[seremtan]

that guy who wrote about Barton (in Oxford), missed the best bits, such as:

* chavs will congregate in little groups around the anti-vehicle bars in the walkways, passing around a foul-smelling J of some nasty homegrown. EVERY FUCKING DAY.

* they have in the past stoned the buses and nearly cost Barton its bus service

* they destroy everything that isn't bolted down and chuck the debris in the brook, cos hey, that's where the rubbish goes innit

* a few years back some chav joyriders burned out a car on the reserve, then the next night parked another right behind it and burnt that out too, and the next night, and the next night. I swear there were 4 or 5 in a neat line before the council removed them.

* they burned down the house of some Kosovo immigrants once while they were away, then burned it down again twice later for good measure

I should tell them all there's a sale on at JJB Sports - everything 25% for 1 hour - then bomb the store sometime in that hour. problem solved.

[saturn]

isn't Don Carlos a chav?

[losCHUNK]

lol no

[saturn]

are you?

[losCHUNK]

neg, hate burberry

[saturn]

raving minger then

[losCHUNK]

thats the bugger :icon14:

[PhoeniX]

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/b.harbison1/argos.htm

[CrinklyArse]

Oh my dear god :lol: