Efficient urination for male humans.

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:57 pm

http://individual.utoronto.ca/mdaar/disturb/d1.html

http://individual.utoronto.ca/mdaar/disturb/d2.html

they take about a minute to load coz of some stupid gamespy ad shit i think. But just wait - they'll load eventually

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:58 pm

also see my iguana posts here:

http://www.quake3world.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3733

Post by **inphlict** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 1:09 am

[xeno]Julios wrote:yea i never sit down on public toilets, unless i have to take a dump. And in that scenario i wipe down the seats with wet toilet paper, and then lay four strips of toilet paper on the seat so i'm not touching the porcelain.

glad it worked out for you jugg

Btw i just realized i gave a completely inaccurate description of the method - dunno how i managed that. (will edit original post)

You only need one hand to do the pinch grip and slide. So: thumb on dorsal base, and only index finger on perineum. But your fist should be in a "backward grip", so that the palm of your right hand is facing right. Then slide up and deal with the drip in whatever way suits you.

I guess you can use your left hand for the entire thing instead.

When in a public washroom and you have to take a shit, do you take the toilet paper and dip it in the toilet water before wiping down the actual toilet or do you rush out of the stall and wet toilet paper and then go back in? If people saw you doing that wouldn’t it be kind of odd? But dipping the paper in the toilet? That probably spreads more germs around.

I have a suggestion, bring a newspaper with you. You can probably find a free one around or buy one, they are quite cheap. When in the stall spread the paper and rip a hole smaller then the actual bowl, after this put it down and direct your anus toward the hole. This way there absolutely no contact, yes you might get the daily news on your ass but it’s much better then risking with the thin toilet paper or wiping it down like an idiot.

Now I have another problem, you might be able to help since it appears you know what you’re talking about. My shit is usually massive, so when it finally drops down it makes a huge splash and I can feel my balls and my ass getting all wet. I have tried squatting over but that leaves a gap between and I often wet my pants this way. Any suggestions?

PS: I learned that you can actually wiggle your penis out of your boxers if you don’t feel like washing your hands after, after you piss you can use your body and even jump up and own a bit to shake the excess off. After this pull on your boxers at the top and wiggle your member back in. Make sure you never button your boxers as it’s almost impossible to make your penis undo that buttons.

Post by **ForM** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 1:34 am

I can safely say I didnt not read any of this thread.

People piss. An effective piss is when it comes out.

An ineffective piss is when it dont.

Need more?

Post by **stocktroll** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:23 am

my cock does weird things when i piss. I havent had a straightforward leak since i was like 12. Sometimes it "sprays" other times i will have 2 different piss trajectories at the same time

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:53 am

stocktroll wrote:my cock does weird things when i piss. I havent had a straightforward leak since i was like 12. Sometimes it "sprays" other times i will have 2 different piss trajectories at the same time

are u intact? (i.e. did you escape circumcision?)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:57 am

-Replicant- wrote:I've always done that, or at least a derivative of it (with a shake thrown in for good measure)....doesn't everyone?

I do :icon14:

Post by **Scourge** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 5:12 am

You don't need to run the piss on to your hand. Just run the tips of your fingers up the underside of the urethra from under the sack up to the head. Stop there. All the piss is out and no drippies nor piss on your hand. Tada.

P.S. A good shake never hurt.

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 10:53 am

inphlict wrote:When in a public washroom and you have to take a shit, do you take the toilet paper and dip it in the toilet water before wiping down the actual toilet or do you rush out of the stall and wet toilet paper and then go back in? If people saw you doing that wouldn’t it be kind of odd? But dipping the paper in the toilet? That probably spreads more germs around.

There are a couple of solutions - you can bring in a water bottle and use that. Or you can master the art of wetting toilet paper with the stream of a fresh flush.

inphlict wrote:Now I have another problem, you might be able to help since it appears you know what you’re talking about. My shit is usually massive, so when it finally drops down it makes a huge splash and I can feel my balls and my ass getting all wet. I have tried squatting over but that leaves a gap between and I often wet my pants this way. Any suggestions?

if you can produce a long enough piece of shit, then by the time it detaches from your body, it will already be submerged in the water. This reduces likelihood of splashing. The longer the piece of shit, the less height it has to traverse in order to reach the surface of the water. Less height = less velocity = less splash.

inphlict wrote:PS: I learned that you can actually wiggle your penis out of your boxers if you don’t feel like washing your hands after, after you piss you can use your body and even jump up and own a bit to shake the excess off. After this pull on your boxers at the top and wiggle your member back in. Make sure you never button your boxers as it’s almost impossible to make your penis undo that buttons.

I would pay good money to watch a video of you doing this from behind (so camera is facing your back). It would look quite funny to see you shaking your booty.